Flying over fears

Since 1998, I have always had many opportunities of taking air flights to somewhere. It was because my family was in Buenos Aires while I was here in Seoul. I had to visit them. But there were also many other reasons for me to cross borders such as relatively cheaper air fees, many more friends residing abroad, many more business trips, greater purchasing power, etc.

Year 2008, however, was the first year I did not fly out of the country. Yet, I visited the airport a lot of times for pick ups and to say goodbyes, so I ended up learning almost perfectly all the configurations of the airport building. But as I haven't travelled abroad for almost two years, I have started building high expectations about my incoming trip to Europe this summer. I have to meet Mario, Kirsten, Cristina, Giona, Maria, Merce, Jeannette, Cristobal, HyeJung, Pepe. Uff....they are all dispersed across the continent, and I have limited time and limited budget.

When I was a student I used to have financial limitations. When I started to work, I had time limitations. Now, I have both of them. What a pity. Hahaha. Well, up to the moment I am thankful because I can still laugh at my circumstances. You may see me smile and grateful about life, but deep inside my heart, I only hope that my today's laughters do not turn into tears tomorrow. And I am working my butt out not to make that ever happen, not under any circumstances. Ever.

All my current efforts perhaps indicate that behind my laughters and appreciations, I still fear. I don't know exactly what. But my hundreds of question marks that aren't pondered scare me. Maybe it is not a problem of money and time limitations. Maybe it's a matter of faith. Maybe I still fear because I lack trust, trust in Him and trust in myself.