It goes on

2008 comes to its end. I am here without being able to get away with all the pains and regrets that it has marked on me. They are deeply here and strangely don't go away along with this year. There is no other solution than to just embrace them hoping that time will cure and that I will get over. That my forgetful memory will bury them. That miracles will happen. And... that I will grow. I do hope I will grow out of this painful maturity process.

2009 is around the corner. But I am not sure whether I am happily welcoming it as everyone wishes me. It's rather a feeling of fear. Fear of not being able to fill the empty spaces that many receive with big hopes. Fear of filling them with the same and/or different wrong colors and patterns. But even with cautious and thoughtful attitudes, I know I will fill them with whatevers, whenevers , wherevers and howevers. There is no rationality in passions, explorations and emotions. Life has been always like that. It never waits for my rational decisions and always lures me with new universes and new encounters.

Those whatevers, whenevers, wherevers and howevers may work out just fine. Or they may end up in desasters. Thankfully, not every thing needs to be fixed. I have learned to grow out of my imperfections. This is the reason why life is beautiful. It does not judge over what I have done but over what I have become into. So, my new year’s resolution is not about what, when, where or how. It’s about becoming more me, trying not to be regarded as whoever to you, to them and mostly, to myself.

Bienvenidos mosquitos!

Ya ha llegado la hora de que me defienda del frio de Seul. Y para minimizar mis sufrimientos, yo ya empece a usar mis 'hot patches'. Son pedazotes de stickers que pego en mi ropa interior y que inmediatamente mantienen mi temperatura corporal a niveles agradables. Yo los pego en las plantas de mis pies. Una vez calentitos, puedo salir a pasear por mas de 14 horas sin que se me congelen. Hay varias marcas, pero como siempre, los productos de nuestro vecino Japon son los mejores. Ofrecen consistente temperatura y larga durabilidad. Los nuestros estan disenyados para los consumidores que quieren algo intenso y compacto. Casi te queman la epidermis. Quizas que por eso que no duran. Porque si durasen como los japoneses, te quemarias hasta los musculos.

Si si si. Asi de frio hace aqui.
Y por eso estoy averiguando formas de sobrevivir el futuro terror de enero. Si! Mas hot patch!
Seguro que por internet los consigo a bajo precio.

Lo curioso es que mientras gente como yo trata de superar los desafios de la naturaleza, hay mosquitos que panchamente vuelan en mi casa, en mi instituto, e incluso, en los subtes. Hoy ya vi dos bien grandes vagabundeando en el vagon. Estamos en pleno diciembre y ya paso la hora de que los mosquitos esten fermentandose, pero parece que no. Parece que estos bichos han pasado por mutaciones que les permitieron disfrutar de la longetividad.

Habia supuesto que los unicos animales que no estaban en peligro de extincion y que, es mas, a lo largo de los anyos habian adquirido postergar la muerte, eramos los seres humanos. Parece que estaba equivocada. Pues si, tenemos companyia.

Young@heart

Couple of days ago, I had a chance to watch a documental movie about a rock choir composed of senior citizens from New Hampshire, Massachusetts. They were all in their 70’s, 80’s and even in their 90’s. Some lived by themselves, others with their spouses. Some were healthy for being at that age, others went to intensive care units too often. But they all were happy, joyful, and enthusiastic. I could tell that by their rigid smiles and smiling wrinkles. I could tell that by their slow but funny movements.

What impressed me the most was not their age nor their ability to sing speedy raps and high tone loud rock- though they were surprisingly amazing. It was their passion and love for life that overwhelmed my emotions. I could hear the fire of their passion in every trembling sound coming out their lips. I could feel their love and appreciation for every second of life in their eyes.

They said it was music that transcended their physical age; it was music that dragged them into a whole new world. And I knew that what they were saying was real because I also shared this new universe of passion and thankfulness throughout the movie. Many questions popped up in my mind. What fires my passion? Where should I project my passion? What is the thing that completely frees my spirit? What leads me to a wholly new dimension of life? What makes them so young? What makes me young?

Tonight I just want to listen to music. I want my thoughts, my spirit, and my emotions to just be there, in the space of sounds, in the time of melodies, in a world that transcends the now and the here.

과학과 기술과 인간의 미래

불과 몇 개월 전까지만 해도 전세계 사람들은 모두 투자은행의 위력에 감탄을 했었다. 전 세계는 투자은행의 거래에 좌지우지 되는 것만 같았고 이 업계에 커리어를 쌓는 것이 청년들의 로망이 되었다. 이 곳에서 활동하는 직원들의 두뇌는 형언할 수 못할 만큼 뛰어난 것 같았고 지식과 기술력으로 돈을 부풀려가던 그들의 능력이 부러울 따름이었다.

그러나 지금 우리는 부를 창조하는 테크닉이 더 이상 유용하지 않다는 것을 뼈저리게 느끼고 있다. 몇만 키로 떨어진 미국에서 발생한 모기지 문제가 방안에 가만히 앉아 있는 나의 부의 가치를 반토막 낸 것이다. 기술을 통한 실존하지 않은 돈을 창조하는 것이 한계가 있음을 알게 되었다. 그렇다. 기술과 지식이 부를 한없이 만들어 낼 수 있다라는 기대와 자만의 엔트로피가 더 이상 버틸 수 없는 한계에 왔고, 이번 사태는 엔트로피를 한 번 낮추는 계기가 되었다. 이젠 중요한 것은 보이지 않는 현란한 기법이 아닌 현존하는 돈임을 깨닫게 되었다.

기술이라는 것은 우리 사회에 많은 발전과 성숙을 가져다 주었다. 그렇기 때문에 우리는 자칫 기술이 가치중립적이지 때문에 사람의 의식만 바르면 좋은 사회로 더욱 발전할 수 있을 것이라 믿는다. 하지만 기술이 진정 가치중립적인지 다시 한번 고민하고 싶다.

기술이 과학으로부터 왔다고 하니 과학에 대해서 생각해 보자. 자연과학이란 자연의 법칙을 탐구하고 그 법칙을 발견하고자 노력하는 학문이며 인문사회과학 또한 인간관계의 법칙을 연구하는 학문이다. 과학이 발견한 법칙을 따라 우리는 여러 가지 기술을 창조해 간다. 여기서 중요한 것은 '법칙을 따라'이다. 우리가 개발하고 사용하는 기술은 우리가 탐구하고 진실이다고 믿는 법칙과 섭리를 따라야 하는 것이다.

모기지 사태를 예로 들자면, 자원이라고 말할 수 있는 부는 노동으로 생산되는 것이 인류사의 법칙이다. 그러나 우리는 이러한 섭리를 무시한 채 보이지 않는 부의 버블만 만드는 기술을 신봉했었다. 섭리에 거슬리는 즉 '거짓'의 엔트로피를 증가시키는 기술과 이를 사용하는 인류는
이번 경제난에서 본 바와 같이 그 대가를 반드시 치른다고 판단된다.

기술은 가치중립적이기 때문에 우리 인류가 가치 있게 잘 사용하자라는 위험성 있는 논리가 아닌 자연과 인류의 법칙과 섭리를 따르는 기술인지 아닌지의 판단이 선행되어야 한다고 믿는다.
그렇지 않은 기술은 중단되어야 한다. 불필요하게 엔트로피를 증가시킬 필요가 없다. 증가되는 엔트로피가 없어지는 아픈 과정에서 우리 인류가 반성하고 학습을 하는 과정 물론 나쁘지만 않지만...

나는 특히 요즘 대두되고 있는 유전자 기술, 인터넷 정보화 기술에 대해서 주의를 기울렸으면 한다. 어떤 부분이 섭리에 합당하며 어긋나는지에 관하여 철저한 과학 정신을 가지고 기술이 개발되었으면 하는 바램이다. 과학자들과 기술자들이 발전시키고자 하는 기술에 대한 깊은 성찰과 올바른 판단력이 없는 한, 즉 보편적인 진리를 탐구하는 정신을 가지지 않은 한 우리 인류는 필요 없는 엔트로피의 증가와 붕괴의 고통 속에서 아파하고, 고민하고, 불신할 것이다.

그러나 앞서 기술한 것처럼 이것이 그리 나쁘지만은 않다. 인류는 그러한 고통 속에서 보편적 진리와 섭리에 충실한 새로운 패러다임을 창조할 것이며 새 출발에 대하여 희망을 또한 갖게 되지 않을까라는 생각을 하게 된다.

To you my sincere blessings

Forever Young, by Neil Young

May God bless and keep you always,
May your wishes all come true,
May you always do for others
And let others do for you.
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung,
May you stay forever young,
Forever young, forever young,
May you stay forever young.

May you grow up to be righteous,
May you grow up to be true,
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you.
May you always be courageous,
Stand upright and be strong,
May you stay forever young,
Forever young, forever young,
May you stay forever young.

May your hands always be busy,
May your feet always be swift,
May you build a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift.
May your heart always be joyful,
May your song always be sung,
May you stay forever young,
Forever young, forever young,
May you stay forever young.

Hard Times

Waiting seems meaningless but is really meaningful. They say.
Meaningless relationships give meaningful wisdoms. They say.
We only have to wait until we bear fruits, until we are cured.
We should never regret, never frustrate.
We don't need to understand; we have to accept, wait, and hope. They say.

And now I say: It's easy to say.

But there is no choice but to believe in Him
Who will make a way where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
God will be my guide, hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
By a roadway in the wilderness, He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
He will do something new today.

Four Types of Life

Up to now, I thought that there were two kinds of life: risk taker type and risk averse type. Now I got to know there are four.

- High risk - High return
- High risk - Low return
- Low risk - High return
- Low risk - Low return

If I just consider my former dichotomic analysis I would rather choose high risk. I simply believe life is full of new universes worth of being explored no matter the costs. I love challenge and courage is a virtue I want to exercise throughout my life.

But today I thought that my dichotomic view on life was too naive and too romantic about the results of being a risk taker. The worst case would be a high risk-low return life where I would end up losing many things, while the smartest one would be a low risk-high return life where in spite of a secure, and probalby boring process, I would be highly enjoying the results. Another option is a high risk-high return life where I can enjoy both the process and the results. This rationale made me think how I could possibly design a well balanced life of low risk-high returns and high risk-high returns. Eventually it led me to wonder whether there was a strategy for that kind of life. After hours of thinking and rethinking, I reached to the conclusion that well, there should be...

My next assignment is to figure it out.

Elasticity

I am taking Managerial Economics, a course that I had thought it would be really interesting and intellectually challenging. In fact, it turned out to be surprising. Surprisingly boring and reality lacking. However, I have to admit I have learned quite many things from the extremely fast paced and content-less lectures.

Elasticity is the word that most strongly remains in my brain. It is because it made me think about how elastic I was in certain areas and because it made me feel nervous each time the professor pronounced the word in a weird accent.

Elasticity is what managers should know when making decisions.
Elasticity is what I have to take into consideration when taking actions. I realized it is deeply related to the maturity level I can potentially reach.

My interest level in a person is highly elastic to his/her intelligence coefficient level.
-> Bear in mind that not so smart people can also be interesting.

My temper is elastic to the time I feel I've lost.
-> Take it easy. Being slow is not always bad.

My ambition is elastic to unexplored new worlds.
-> Stay focused. Don't forget the high qualities of the in-depthness.

My intolerance level is elastic to boredom.
-> Be wiser and try to find the insights latent in it.

My body metabolism is very inelastic to the energy consumed.
-> Watch out what and how much you are inserting into your mouth.