Puzzlingly Puzzled Puzzle

I so much feared to face, but I knew you would come.
I wasn't waiting for you at all.
You knew I wasn't welcoming you, but you came anyways.

I thought I couldn't deal with you.
I was too nervous, stressed, even sick.
However, when I saw you nothing big happened.
I found out I am pretty much indifferent with your presence.
I guess you are much less important than I think.

I don't know how long you would stay,
but I am not frightened anymore.

So, I guess I won this time.

Honrar la vida by Marilina Ross - 삶을 존중하는 것

No.
Permanecer y transcurrir
no es perdurar, no es existir, ni honrar la vida.
Hay tantas maneras de no ser
tanta conciencia sin saber, adormecida.

Merecer la vida no es callar
y consentir tantas injusticias repetidas.
Es una virtud, es dignidad
y es la actitud de identidad más definida.
Eso de durar y transcurrir
no nos da derecho a presumir,
porque no es lo mismo que vivir honrar la vida.

No.
Permanecer y transcurrir
no siempre quiere sugerir honrar la vida.
Hay tanta pequeña vanidad
en nuestra tonta humanidad enceguecida.

Merecer la vida es erguirse vertical
más allá del mal, de las caídas.
Es igual que darle a la verdad
y a nuestra propia libertad la bienvenida.
Eso de durar y transcurrir
no nos da derecho a presumir
porque no es lo mismo que vivir honrar la vida.


아니야
살아가는 거, 시간을 보내는 거
그건 견디는 것도, 존재하는 것도, 삶을 존중하는 것도 아냐
살고는 있지만 존재하지 않는 길이 얼마나 많아
안다고는 하지만 잠들어 있는 무지한 인식이 얼마나 많아

삶의 가치는 조용히 있는 게 아냐
반복되는 불의를 바라보는 것도 아냐
삶은 미덕이고 존엄이야
그리고 정체에 대한 가장 명확한 자세야
많은 것을 겪고 세월을 보냈다고 해서
자만할 권리가 있는 게 아냐
산다는 것과 삶을 존중하는 것은 다르기 때문이야

아니야.
살아지는 거, 시간을 넘기는 거
그건 삶을 존중한다는 의미가 아냐
바보같은 우리 인류가 눈이 멀어
쌓아 온 작은 교만이 얼마나 많아

삶의 가치는 악과 넘어짐을 너머
바로 서는 거야
진리와 우리 자신의 자유를
환영하는 것과 같은 거야
많은 것을 겪고 세월을 보냈다고 해서
자만할 권리가 있는 게 아냐
산다는 것과 삶을 존중하는 것은 다르기 때문이야

-------------------------------------------------------

아무 것도 배우지 않고 살 수 있다. 잠잠히, 가만히, 풍경에 붓질하지 않고 이 지구에 지탱할 수 있다. 죽은 것도 아닌 사는 것도 아닌 상태에서 그 누구도, 그 무엇도 사랑하지 않으면서 고통 없이 존재할 수 있다. 난 반대 쪽의 길에 내 인생 전부를 걸기로 했다. 잃는 것이 얻는 것보다 더 많든, 눈물의 폭풍이 웃음의 바다를 덮어버리든, 완전한 죽음이 찾아오기 전에 완전한 삶을 가지기로 결심했다.

Case Presentation: Daimler-Chysler Merger

Happily ever after?

The marriage of these two companies seemed to be the success of the century. Both with solid sales volume and brand equity, their union would imply a boom in the car industry.The whole world had great expectations from them. Of course there had been worries because of their different cultures, interests and backgrounds, but these were too small compared to the gains they would bring to each other. So, it only took less than a year to reach the ever lasting contract. Unfortunately or not, marriage between companies that so much differed ended up in a divorce after 9 unsuccessful years.

Putting this business case at a personal level, a presenter learned about the implications of the so called international marriage that she had considered in order to open up her possibilities of finding Mr. Right. Efforts to maintain such a controversial relationship, I mean, controversial at least to many Koreans, would not balance the gains of being together. Or the opportunity costs of marring a foreigner could be higher than the benefits the partner would bring. Or the comforts of similarities are larger than the excitements of the unknown world.

In other words, it is a quite risk. So if marriage is supposed to mean settling down, taking risks would contradict its purpose, especially when it comes to the 'I will love you forever no matter what' vow.

But it would be nice to find someone worth of taking whatever the risks, right? Or even better would be to be loved in such a way because deep inside we know all the flaws we have.


Merging or acquiring? Being merged or acquired? Doesn't matter.

Back to the business case, the real purpose of the deal was the acquisition of Chrysler by Daimler Benz, although the official announcement was the so called merger of equals. But this is not a very important factor when assessing the success of the union. What the case presenters concluded was the inexistence of post merger integration which had caused such a failure.

Also in real life, whether a marriage is a merger or an acquisition, or whether the balance sheet of gains and losses is not that well-balanced, doesn't matter. What is important is the post integration management. Intentions of taking over, indifference, or the transfer of responsibilities to the partner is a direct route to failure. Melting and molding are necessary to build a solid relationship.This restructuring of both parties is certainly painful, but we all know that once we mold to each other the success of the union will come as a matter of course.

Just like in any M&As, success of a marriage should be assessed not at the decision moment of the seemingly perfect match, but when we actually see the melting and the molding of the agreement become a real union.

It's crucial to find the one that matches with oneself. Still, restructuring is required and we all know that. The key issue here is whether we have the willingness to painfully melt and mold ourselves to the one we are committing the rest of our valuable lives to.

Perhaps it is my lack of that willingness that has kept me single until today. Perhaps it is my naivety (or lazyness) that still dreams of a perfect match, unnecessary of such an arduous process. Perhaps these are just coward excuses.

¡Español!

Por fin he puesto en práctica lo que había propuesto hace una década. Sí. Sí. Sí. ¡El teclado en castellano ya está en funcionamiento! La verdad que es una agradable sensación esto de poder escribir oraciones adecuadas y seguir las reglas ortográficas como el digno castellano se merece. Me costará adaptarme y adquirir velocidad al tipear. Pero como estoy en un período de perseverancia absoluta, no me costará tanto. Bueno, eso espero.

Ya tengo el pelo bastante largo y, como algunos de ustedes podrán imaginar, bastante deprolijo. Últimamente muchos me están diciendo que les había gustado mi antiguo corte (ver foto). Y cada vez que me veo al espejo sin poder controlar los cachos de cabello que libremente vascilan en el aire, muchas ganas de deshacerme de ellos tengo.

¿Qué dicen? Ahora que empieza la primavera y que he decidido a reempezar con muchas cosas de mi vida como mi nuevo hogar en uno de los barrios más precarios de Seúl, como el nuevo sistema en la academia de inglés, como el nuevo semestre en el máster, o como la nueva meta de adelgazar cinco kilos antes del verano, no estaría mal darle un look nuevo a mi estilo. Además un poco estética viene bien al ego. Eso sí, no sé si tengo la valentía suficiente de desarraigar una parte mía que con tanto sufrimiento aguanté durante casi un año.

Vamos a ver que decisión tomo.

A strange day

Calmness after torment

I cannot tell which wind woke me up this morning. Maybe it was the wind that has kept my dreams noisy last few weeks, or it was from the 2009's first spring shower. But what was real is that the wind was so strong that its hitting sounds on the window woke me up earlier than what I had proposed.
The weather was a lot warmer than a usual rainy day. It was rather windy. Yes...today was a very windy and somewhat rainy day. Strangely, it exactly represented my emotional, spiritual and physical status. I hope tomorrow the winds will go away leaving peaceful tranquility behind.

Unknown truth

On my way to work, I was looking at the calm gray sky that contrasted with rough winds and busy streets of Seoul. As it slowly started to rain, I said "Now it's raining" while simultaneously my friend said "Here it's raining". It was then when I paused just to think about what had happened. Was that the moment it rained? Or was it the place? Interesting. Same phenomenon, different reactions, and unknown truth. Will the truth unveil itself once we leave the earth and reach the universe beyond this? What would it be if we actually overcame our time and space limitations?

Time and space

Life seems to be a continuous battle, battle to catch the time we will never reach, battle to widen the space we will never conquer. Sadly to many, life seems to end up being a regret, regret of not having enjoyed the now and the here, the only time and space under our control. Still, our spirits long for what is beyond the present. Maybe it's because the now and the here are not as joyful as we wish. Maybe it's because we believe that what is beyond is better, full of meaning, full of happiness.

Strangely, we all know by our instincts that it's not necessary to do beyond to be beyond. We know that a way, not to say the only way, to fully enjoy the now and the here while still being in the present is to love.

Love is the beginning of understanding the truth, the very cause of our existence, the divine purpose of our lives. Love is absence and fullness of time; love embraces infinite space. Everything is meaningful when we love; and everything is meaningless.

When we love, we are just beyond everything.

More strangely, we often forget it.
And many times, consciuously.

My first strip

It was last September when I started to make an animation, but it required more time than I could offer. So, I've decided to conform myself to this inanimated comic strip. Just trying to train the right side of my brains and wake my creativity up if it has ever existed.

오늘은 어제 죽은 내가 그토록 기다리던 내일

적은 금액이라고 불평하던 월급은 엄청쓰고
쥐꼬리만하게 모아둔 돈을 불려보겠다고
욕심 부리고 잔머리 굴린 내 머릿속에 맴도는 것은
일용한 양식은 다름이 아닌 땀 흘린 노동으로부터다라는 창조질서.

열심히 하면 되고 하늘은 스스로를 돕는 자를 돕는다라는 생각으로
새로운 것에 늘 부딪혀 보는 용감한 내 마음이 기억하는 것은
애써도 안 될 수 있으며 이것도 하늘의 도움임이라 받아드리는 겸손.

굴복하지 않고 모든 것을 이기는 것이 능력인 줄 알고
지금은 남에게 의지하지는 것이 두렵고 어색할 정도로
혼자서 씩씩하게 살아온 내 30년의 인생이 깨닫는 것은
완전한 굴복과 완전한 의존이 창조주를 인정하는 지혜.

큰 성공을 거두어야 한다라는 부담과 책임으로 늘 무언가를 이루고자
목표 뒤에 새로운 목표를 지향하며 뛴 지친 내 발이 느끼는 것은
진정한 기쁨과 휴식은 성공의 영광이 아니라 아이들의 환한 웃음.

여태 뭐하며 살았나 싶을 정도로 헛 산 것 같지만

그래도,,,

창조질서를 따를 수 있는 노동력이 아직 나에게 있다는 거.
아직은 완전히 굴복하고 완전히 의존 못해도
신실하신 아버지는 기다리신다는 거.
나의 하루를 밝히고, 내 마음의 평안과 기쁨을 배로 하는
아이들의 웃음이 있다는 거.
포기 못해 꼭 쥐고 있던 것마저 도망가고 맘대로 되는 게 없어
내 손아귀에서 모든 것이 벗어나 지금은 빈손이 되어버렸지만,
그렇기 때문에 더 자유로울 수 있을 거라는 생각에 흐뭇해 한다는 거.

매일 매일 새롭게 솟아오르는 태양이 있어 감사하다는 거.

Fractions

Me:"Alex, before you multiply fractions,
you should always remember to simplify them first."
Alex: "But it's the same whether I simplify first or later."
Me: "Yes, but when it comes to bigger numbers,
if you simplify first, it's gonna be easier for you."
Alex: "I know, I know. Tomorrow will be a better day than today."
Me: "What?"
Alex: "Tomorrow will be better and happier than today."
Me: "..."

Just out of nothing - well... I guess it is not out of nothing.

That was the reply the ten-year-old boy made when I had told him to simplify the problems before working on them. I did not insist he give me the reason why he had said so because I knew he wouldn't provide any further bothersome explanation about an obvious truth.

Later that evening I asked myself when had been the last time I tried to keep myself simple, leaving behind all the small worries that were making huge traffic jams in my head. And then I remembered that what is in my mind is product of my decisions. So I decided to clean it up and put everything in order. At least now it looks better and I feel simpler and lighter.

My long forgotten favorite phrase from Gone with the wind pops up in my head: "After all... tomorrow is another day." Now I guess I have to replace it for a more hopeful and insightful quote from Alexander.

"Tomorrow will be a better day than today."

Titina, Lina, esto es para ustedes

Como se que estan estudiando chino, a ver si descifran esto.
Lo dijo nuestro respetado senyor Confucio.

生而知之者 上也
學而知之者 次也
困而學之 又其次也
困而不學 民斯爲下矣

Besotes.

El dia que me quieras - Carlos Gardel

Acaricia mi ensueño el suave murmullo de tu suspirar.
Cómo ríe la vida si tus ojos negros me quieren mirar.
Y si es mío el amparo de tu risa leve que es como un cantar,
ella aquieta mi herida, todo todo se olvida.

El día que me quieras la rosa que engalana
se vestirá de fiesta con su mejor color.
Y al viento las campanas dirán que ya eres mía,
y locas las fontanas se contarán su amor.

La noche que me quieras desde el azul del cielo,
las estrellas celosas nos mirarán pasar.
Y un rayo misterioso hará nido en tu pelo,
luciérnaga curiosa que verás que eres mi consuelo.

El día que me quieras no habrá más que armonía.
Será clara la aurora y alegre el manantial.
Traerá quieta la brisa rumor de melodía.
Y nos darán las fuentes su canto de cristal.

El día que me quieras endulzarán sus cuerdas el pájaro cantor.
Florecerá la vida, no existirá el dolor.

땅끝까지 이르러 내 증인이 되리라.

부르짖으셨는데, 기억하라고 하셨는데
나는 귀를 막고 입을 막았습니다.
수 차례 들렸는데 나는 귀찮아 했습니다.

이제 와 후회하고 고치려고 한들 무슨 소용이 있습니까.
불완전한 과거와 화해하며 고치지 않은 채
그대로 받아드리는 것도 이젠 지쳤습니다.
상처주고 상처받은, 오해주고 오해받은 자기 자신을 용서하고,
있는 모습 그대로 받아드려야 하는 용기도 이젠 힘듭니다.

이젠 인도하시는 이 길을 잠잠히 걸어갑니다.
오직 이 길이 나의 영혼을 평안하게 하기 때문입니다.
평탄하지도 않고, 내 뜻대로 되지 않지만,
눈물도 많고, 고통도 있지만
내 뜻을 부인하는 것이, 당신을 인정하는 것이 더욱 값지다는 것을,
당신 뜻에 순종하는 것이 나의 사명임을 알기 때문에 걸어갑니다.

잡념과 혼란과 시끄러움 속에서도
내 영혼을 고요히 지키겠습니다.
잠잠히 내 눈과 귀와 마음을 열겠습니다.

기억하겠습니다. 난 당신 것임을.
기억하겠습니다. 땅끝까지 이르겠다는 나의 약속을.
기억하겠습니다. 그 땅끝이 여기임을.