What business are you in?

Mark Johnson:

"Roger, you have such a profound voice. You shouldn't be playing music here. There'll be thousands of studios wanting to work with you. What are you doing here on the streets?"

Roger Ridley:

"Man, I'm not in the music business. I'm in the JOY BUSINESS."

Biography: Roger Ridley and his music embody everything that music is : soul, perseverance, and talent. He has often been called "the voice of God" by the other street musicians on the 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica, California. His dedication to his audience is clear, traveling from his home in Las Vegas, Nevada to his spot in Santa Monica every Saturday and giving his best performance before returning home that night. It was Roger's performance of Stand By Me that sent Playing for Change off on its mission to connect the world through music by adding other musicians to his recording.

- from www.playingforchange.com

An episode of future library experience

There are two main reasons I go to a college Library: I have a specific purpose of searching certain information or I just go there to read whatever it makes me feel like reading. I can do these activities at home, but I deliberately go to the library because first, I have access to a broader variety of books and second, I like sitting in a quite and intellectual atmosphere and do my work at a specific time period. But there are few things that bother me. They require me to pass through all the entrance procedures. I understand that identification checking is important, but it is something that I do not enjoy at all.

Let’s see the first case where I go there to find specific information. First, I have to look for the information I want to find either on the web or personally. In case I search for books on the web, I have to ask the librarians to look for them. Then I have to wait for them. After 30 minutes they are in my hands; I have to verify whether the information is actually the one I am looking for. If it is so, I read it and probably I want to continue searching for further information. So I go and sit in front of the computer and do the process again. If the information is not the one I needed, I go back and sit in front of the computer to do the process, as well. I have to start from zero. The computer does not keep record of my searching records, nor does it have an application such as that of Amazon where I can find other books that have relationships with a certain part I am interested in. So, in many cases, I end up being hours at the library to find too little relevant information.

It would be ultimately amazing if the library digitized all the papers it has and offers services through digital ink based screens right ad hoc. This newly radical digital convergence will certainly revolutionize the concept that most people have about libraries.

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All the references are linked to each other, so I could cross check and research much more rapidly. Once I leave the place and revisit some time later, I could trace the search record, so I do not need to go through the search labyrinth all over again.

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I do not need to physically be at the library to read the information I need. I would have access to all the information I could find at the library through a laptop on the internet. So, my library could be at home, at the Starbucks, on my way on the subway.

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The digitized library will have a research or book reading social network system, where people with similar research focus to mine or from completely different backgrounds share opinions and understanding of specific parts of the books. It will give me a collective researching and learning experience.

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Deep in our minds, we doubt whether this will actually come true. We are quite pessimistic when it comes to changing our paradigms. But, once we retrospect and see how the world has radically changed through technology innovation in the past ten years, we can surely predict a new world of library in the very near future.

L.O.V.E.

Rich people say that wealth is not important, that it's meaningless.

I say it becomes meaningless once after you have it.

That if you don't, it has such a great meaning.

Popular people say that fame only brings about loneliness.

I say that no-fame is even lonelier, that life is solitary after all.

Powerful people say that power fades away so soon,

that it betrays you much more than it praises you.

I say that's an arrogant and hypocrite comment,

an insult to the demoralized powerless common.

Great looking people say that appearance is tricky,

that a sincere inner beauty is what really counts.

Then, why are you pouring so much on your externalities

even knowing you can't ever win the flying time?

Intellectuals say that knowledge never comforts,

that it conducts you to the road of depression.

But I bet they will never trade their miserable depression

for ignorance, not even for happy ignorance.

And I say again, it's funny, really funny

that although all of them are value-free

you so firmly believe in them when you don't have them,

and that they only become meaningless once after you conquer them.

That I have to have them

to fully experience to realize their meaninglessness.

And I say again, it's stupid, really stupid

that you live your whole life in pursuit of the meaninglessness

just to validate at the end what you already know

and regret for not having what's meaningful.

You will controversially reckon your misinterpretation on life

but you won't give up the meaninglessness you so hardly got.

So you laugh at your funny life and your stupid self.

You start wondering

what transcends all this,

what has eternal meaning,

what makes your life indeed beautiful.

And you smile, just smile

because you found the truth,

the only right answer,

fair to anyone,

open and easy to all.

...

you consciously or unconsciouly choose not to know

you know you have to do something about it

but life is hard to even to satiate your greed

so, you just don't let it hurt you

you just choose to be indifferent

it's easier and comfortable

you know that's dangerous

but you close your eyes and tap your ears

pretending it doesn't exist

pretending you don't know

Design attitude

Relationships is not only among people. We relate with our surrounding environments, our trivial things, our pasts, our dreams. We relate with every single particle and abstract that exist in the whole universe. It's in this logic that we can say all problems we face are relationship problems.

I usually considered a problem something to be categorized according to my interests. The most interesting ones were classified as the most importants, and to this type of problems I would devote most of my efforts. A problem followed by a certain type of relationship would be either in this group OR in other groups. In other words, I had a static and fixed matrix in my mind where, according to specific characteristics, I would categorize problems. It worked cost effectively, time efficiently and perfectly fine for busy and efficient people like me. The concept of AND which may suggest you may encounter the same problem in differents dimensions simultaneously did not fit well in my matrix. This was the decision making process I used to take to choose among alternative solutions. Somehow, I blindly believed solutions were somewhere there; I only needed to find them out. We people naturally disregard the power of an empty mind that allows us to create and re-invent things.

One day I made a very tough decision. Actually I am still under training and still it is hard to change my habits. But well, yes. I got rid of my matrix and put an empty white paper in my mind instead. The empty space was the foundation where I could write about the new thing I come up with, draw about it, describe, erase and re-describe my relationship with it. The empty space allowed me to continuously set and reshape an ever dynamic and evolving relationship. The emptiness was indeed a judgment-free zone where I could actually see and create what was not there, what is possible. It becomes a pure art of designing, and its best tool is an empty mind, ready for seeing, doing, experiencing, creating and re-creating what is not there. It is hard to start from nothing. But it is from nothing you start creating something.

Twitter

I had registered in a Twitter account couple of months ago, but didn't really follow up. I just couldn't see the fun and joy of twitting. Today, this usually happens when you have to study for exams but end up doing things totally unrelated and unproductive, I actually started to see how it worked. I still need more time to manipulate it and experience it a bit more, but for the moment, it is quite fun. Maybe it will help me keep track record of all of my trivialities and that's a good thing. A beautiful life is basically composed of simple, sometimes boring, and trivial times and spaces.

Once again, I am deeply grateful I was born in the internet era. There is so much fun going on here. Amazing, amazing, amazing. Amazing to think that I might eventually stop writing my journals on a paper notebook. (I had thought that I would never change this particular habit.) It is likely that I replace my journals by twitting my moments.

Another surprising thing was that very but very few friends of mine twit. Or better to say, most of them don't even have an account. What should I think about this phenomenon? Is Twitter too banal for busy people like us? Or are we just out of fashion? Or are we simply getting old?

Will you marry me

It has been long time since I had visited Seoul Center of Arts. I had free tickets to Seoul National Orchestra's concert, so I stopped everything I was doing and headed there. Well, as expected, classical music was not the most entertaining, especially if you didn't know the parts that were being played. The most reasonable thing I could do was to try to entertain myself when the piece got tedious and boring. I kept my eyes on the drummers' every movement. Actually it seemed that their jobs were not that hard as one could imangine. They just simply handled the most rudimentary instruments even kids at kindergarten know how to use.

Changing the topic...

When the baritone singer was about to finish his repertoirs, people got so excited by his performance that they kept on and on applauding and asking for more songs. He, instead of doing what we all were expecting, called his girlfriend to ask her to come to the stage so that he could propose her to marry him in front of the audience. I had never expected that I would be enjoying this kind of reality and live shows. The show had got really interesting, indeed. Better was when despite his repeated calls, she didn't show up. She had left her seat to meet her fiance back stage. He had no choice but to embarrass himself and start with his encore song.

Then he left the stage and soon appeared again with his beloved one to do what he had proposed to do that night. The rest of the story is somewhat obvious. By this time, I wasn't that interested anymore. Actually, almost all the people were about to leave the place. The spontaneity and freshness of the show became instantly old.

What lesson did I learn?

Good shows as well as marriages should be held on time.

Everything is about timing.

Universe

Under the assumption that all is composed of me and what is not me, the sum of me and not-me equals universe. The universe without me is meaningless in the same way it is meaningless without not-me.

Me and not-me confront with each other in a disorderly manner. However, its product, the universe, is symmetrically in harmony. In other words, often me and not-me collide disorderly in this relationship, but since the universe is base for their existences and embraces their common ground, both compromise and convey into a balance point.

Of course, me changes all the time trying to break the status quo to find a new balance. Same happens to the not-me. This creates continuous tension within the universe. There are many ways to explode this tension: war, persuasion, extermination, compromise. Whatever it is the method, there is always a new final output.

This is the process how the universe evolves, and once me or not-me ceases to exist, it goes back to the initial point of emptyness. It is now when all becomes nothing and meaningless. Of course there is no reason for me and not-me to be lazy in the evolutionary process of the universe, even if reality says that the destiny of all is nothing. Both me and not-me should work hard for the good so that the evolution path becomes good in effect. The outcomes that are never-endingly created by tension-breaking process of the universe vanish constantly. But that's not a motivation to stop doing good. After all, the outcomes that are created need to be good while they are given their ephimeral existence.

Deeper relationships

When we're full of fear and anxiety, we don't get close to each other. We back off from each other. We're afraid of being rejected, manipulated, vulnerable, hurt, or used. All of these fears cause us to disconnect in life. This fear is as old as humanity. People have been doing that ever since creation. We're afraid, so we hide. We hide our true selves. We don't let people know what we're really like. We don't let them see the inside of us. Why? Because if we let people know what we're like and they don't like it, we're up a creek without a paddle. Tough luck. Why am I afraid to tell you who I am? Because if I tell you who I am, and you don't like me, I'm in for it. I have no alternative. So we wear masks and we pretend.

Fear does three terrible things to relationships:
1. Fear makes us defensive. We're afraid to reveal ourselves. We defend ourselves. When people point out our weaknesses, we retaliate and defend ourselves.
2. Fear keeps us distant. We don't let people get close to us. We want to withdraw, pull back. We want to hide our emotions. We don't want to be open and honest. We become defensive and distant.
3. Fear makes us demanding. Whenever we're insecure, and the more insecure we are, the more we try to control. So we try to have the last word in a relationship. We try to dominate, control. It's always a symptom of fear and insecurity.

by Rick Warren
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Whether to take a step further in the relationship or not depends on my decision. While living on earth, I am in continuous decisive moments. This time, it is critical.

He will carry you

there is no problem too big God cannot solve it

there is no mountain too tall He cannot move it

there is no storm too dark God cannot calm it

there is no sorrow too deep He cannot soothe it

if He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders

i know, my brother, that He will carry you

if He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders

i know, my sister, that He will carry you

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i only need to empty myself,

and let Him carry me through the only path He created for me

He is my alpha and my omega

Dexter - Siniester

I am a right handed person.

And I use it most of the time, and much more than a normal person.

I have lived this way for almost 30 years.

That is why my right hand has so many wrinkles

and its fingers are much thicker.

Yes, it has deteriorated and it's my fault.

In contrast, my left hand is softer, thinner, more ladylike.

Today I bought a red manicure to brush my nails.

As predicted, my softer left hand looked better

since it was my skillful right hand that painted it.

My clumsy left hand brushed its partner,

which turned out to look like my grandmother 's old hand.

Dexter means right hand, righteousness, justice in Latin while siniester means left hand, out of the righteousness, evil, horror.

The one who is able to use both hands alternatively is called ambidexter.

Well, no way Romans could have named this person an ambisinister.

The left have been ignored, not to say depreciated, for long time.

But today, my siniester looks much more attractive.

There is nothing absolute in this world.

All things that exist on earth are just ambiguous and unclear.