LiFe iS bEauTiFuL

Just the way you are - Bruno Mars

2010-11-28T19:01:00.002+09:00

Oh, her eyes, her eyes, make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair, falls perfectly without her trying
She's so beautiful, and I tell her every day

Yeah, I know, I know, when I compliment her she won't believe me
And it's so, it's so, sad to think that she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me do I look ok, I say

When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Because girl you're amazing, just the way you are(yeah)

Her lips, her lips, I could kiss them all day if she let me
Her laugh, her laugh, she hates but I think it's so sexy
She's so beautiful, and I tell her every day

Oh, you know, you know, you know, I'd never ask you to change
If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same
So, don't even bother asking if you look ok
You know I'll say

When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Because girl you're amazing, just the way you are
The way you are, the way you are
Girl you're amazing, just the way you are

When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Cause girl you're amazing, just the way you are. Yeah

-----

That's it.

Nothing else.

The only reason for the only purpose.

My goal in life

2010-05-06T19:08:00.002+09:00

I don't want accomplishments or acquisitions or positions or actions.

I'm not trying to win or succeed or conquer.

I want to learn to totally surrender.

You light me in

2010-05-06T18:41:00.002+09:00

Twinkling little stars from the dark sky

have sparkled a light in my heart tonight.

And a delightful spring colored wind

gently waved me good night.

Swimming

2010-04-18T09:39:00.002+09:00

Carry nothing

Think of nothing

Just your body and the water

Just your breath and the air

Many images flash into your mind

Many feelings come into your heart

But nothing ties you up

Your body only needs water to keep on moving

Your breath only needs air to keep on going

It's just this simple

Just your body and the water

Just your breath and the air

Instantes (Jorge Luis Borges ?)

2010-03-22T09:21:00.002+09:00

Si pudiera vivir nuevamente mi vida,
en la próxima trataría de cometer más errores.
No intentaría ser tan perfecto, me relajaría más.
Sería más tonto de lo que he sido,
de hecho tomaría muy pocas cosas con seriedad.
Sería menos higiénico.
Correría más riesgos,
haría más viajes,
contemplaría más atardeceres,
subiría más montañas, nadaría más ríos.
Iría a más lugares adonde nunca he ido,
comería más helados y menos habas,
tendría más problemas reales y menos imaginarios.

Yo fui una de esas personas que vivió sensata
y prolíficamente cada minuto de su vida;
claro que tuve momentos de alegría.
Pero si pudiera volver atrás trataría
de tener solamente buenos momentos.

Por si no lo saben, de eso está hecha la vida,
sólo de momentos; no te pierdas el ahora.

Yo era uno de esos que nunca
iban a ninguna parte sin un termómetro,
una bolsa de agua caliente,
un paraguas y un paracaídas;
si pudiera volver a vivir, viajaría más liviano.

Si pudiera volver a vivir
comenzaría a andar descalzo a principios
de la primavera
y seguiría descalzo hasta concluir el otoño.
Daría más vueltas en calesita,
contemplaría más amaneceres,
y jugaría con más niños,
si tuviera otra vez vida por delante.

Pero ya ven, tengo 85 años…
y sé que me estoy muriendo.

Servir a Cristo - Migdalia Rivera

2010-03-14T22:52:00.002+09:00

No nací para ocupar un lugar
Ni un espacio en la esfera terrenal
Fui creada para ser un servidor
Un instrumento de servicio al Señor

No nací para obtener ni adquirir
Fui creada para dar y servir
El propósito en mi vida cumpliré
Y a mis hermanos en el reino ayudaré

Servir a Cristo, servir a Cristo
El modelo a seguir
De servicio, entrega, amor y santidad
Grande es su bondad

Por Jesucristo, por Jesucristo
Vivir sirviendo a los demás
Contribuyendo con los dones que El me da.

Time

2010-03-03T17:24:00.006+09:00

Time heals all wounds and the deepest scars.

It explains the incomprehensible and the mysterious.

It reveals intimate secrets and the cleverest lies.

Time dulls past memories but makes real the dullest visions.

It eternalizes instants but vanishes long histories.

It revives the forgotten and forgets the arrogant.

It encourages the weak and humbles the powerful.

It covers infinite space, yet it enslaves minds and bodies.

But time is not fair and much less compassionate.

It's too fast or too slow. It's too short or too long.

It's a chance and a test. It's a luck and a disgrace.

It doesn't show mercy in moments of repentance.

It doesn't reward whatever hardwork and perseverance.

It's said to be the most precious, but in fact it's commonly wasted.

And people try to conquer though it never lets itself be managed.

It's said to be divine, and bad timing becomes an excuse for failures

while good timing is attributed to the lucky one's power.

It's not people who pursue times; it's time that comes.

It's not people who get ready for the right time; it's time that prepares.

And now time has come to me, the time I have cherished for so long.

It's telling me to stop, so that I can start.

It's telling me to leave, so that I can go.

A heritage worth leaving

2010-03-01T17:37:00.004+09:00

"Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good." (Rom. 8:26~28)

There is no more word I could say to what the scripture has promised me. It comforts my soul and makes into good the stupidities I have committed. It raises up the weak and the poor. It nullifies all our masterpieces and wisdoms we have proudly accumulated. It makes us all bow before the infinite and amazing grace that was given to each of us.

Nothing on this earth and beyond this universe can be explained without the Cross and nothing grand can explain the true meaning of it. A small faith is just enough. Life vanishes in an instant and legacies are useless, but faith is a heritage worth leaving to next generations.

Hilarious! Click the image.

2010-01-13T00:40:00.003+09:00

The power of the Word

2009-12-01T05:36:00.004+09:00

TEDxSeoul inaugural event is finished. Now I guess it's time for what I really have looked forward to: the TEDxSeoul action, an environment where diverse people share ideas, inspire one another and work together to actually change the world we live in. That's it. An idea worth spreading finds a channel through which it gets verbalized, visualized and shared with others. And pam! It is when shared that it gets really powerful, powerful enough to create new waves across nations and unite people no matter what religion, no matter what race.

I was astonished by the excitement and passion of the audience and the glowing face of each of the attendees. I was again surprised to see that there were so many people willing to realize their sacred dreams and deliver valuable changes to the world. I could feel that the six hours of the event were, in some degree, helpful to those that needed to satiate their thirst.

This morning a question popped into my head as I was waiting for my train to come. Does it feel like this when people hear the Gospel? I guess it should be even more exuberant as it concerns with life and death matters and the ultimate salvation. Then a second question came to my mind: have I seen a similar excitement and joy when talking about God recently? Then an array of unanswered questions continued flowing inside my mind.

So I stopped there. I couldn't bear the thought that my faith was not even half of a mustard seed, too weak to set fire. I stopped there because I knew it would drag me to the ocean of remorse and self-pity. So I prayed. I prayed my faith, my passion and my dreams come from God, the true origin and the final end of everything.

Useful

2009-11-25T02:05:00.005+09:00

One of things that many people learn very fast at school is to swear. I was no exception. By the time I was a teenager, swearing became the official dialect through which my friends and I candidly communicated. So no matter how evil the purpose of an enemy was, I wasn't pretty much bothered by what he or she said. I had this great ability to pay them back with a much better eloquence.

There was a time when I did get flatly embarrassed. I heard a classmate call a person 'useless'. I was deeply hurt by what a third person had said to another third person. The word literally paralyzed my brains for five minutes, enough to meditate about the emotions it had provoked on me. It hurt me so much that I decided not to say this word to anyone. I couldn't let my perversity go that far. I definitely did not want to kill any soul.

Almost fifteen years passed and, although very rarely, I was exposed to environments where people 'had' to use this term to describe those they scored incompetent. I felt so offended that I politely asked them not to say the word. It was not out of an heroic act, but out of personal need.

I don't think this pseudo-traumatic experience influenced on my renewed life-purpose (to be useful), but I find it funny to see the somewhat coincidental relationship.

Don't worry, Be happy

2009-09-25T12:22:00.001+09:00

Two businessmen were talking about the economy:

Jack: “I’m about to lose my job and our house is in foreclosure, but I don’t worry about it.”
Bob: “How can you not be worried?”
Jack: “I’ve hired a professional worrier. He does all my worrying for me. That way I don’t have to think about it!”
Bob: “That’s a fantastic idea. How much does it cost to hire a professional worrier?”
Jack: “$50,000 a year.”
Bob: “$50,000! Where are you going to get that kind of money?”
Jack: “I don’t know. That’s HIS worry!”

My first and longest love story

2009-09-23T02:22:00.008+09:00

Last Sunday of October 1986.

It felt already summer in Buenos Aires.

My dad, mom, my sister and I headed to church early in that morning.

We had arrived Argentina the day earlier.

The only thing I remember is that the church had a big blue gate

in front of which I immediately started to play with my first love.

He, Pablo, was my age and had an older brother.

My sister and I used to play with them all the time.

There was nothing special about him.

Well, he was funny, but that wasn't the reason I liked him.

I liked him because I had no other alternatives.

His brother was too old for me.

One day, a new girl and her little brother came to church.

Competition started and got fierce as time passed by.

But we became instantly best friends

as she confessed me she liked Alejandro, Pablo's brother.

Pablo was too young for her.

You couldn't imagine the relief I felt.

My love towards Pablo grew but I never told him.

I wouldn't hurt my ego and be vulnerable to this stupid boy.

He was so mean to me that many times I felt deep hatred.

It sounds a cliche but he was so lovely and hateful at the same time.

His dad passed away when we were eleven.

That Sunday was the first time I saw him silent.

I didn't know what to do.

I couldn't do anything.

I just sat where he couldn't see me but I could watch him.

And prayed with my eyes open looking at him,

but I didn't know what to say in my prayer.

So I kept silent, too.

That was the only way to keep his company, I thought.

It was along that year that I realized that my crush was over.

Yeah, after five years of deep and solitary romance

I got to know that it had faded away.

I don't know the exact reason for this slow ending.

Maybe, I gave up as I realized he was very popular among girls.

Maybe it was because I found more interesting boys.

As we became teenagers, we somehow managed to be friends.

And until today, my unsuccessful first love story became my oldest and dearest friendship.

Thanks God we are just friends.

Now we can't imagine our relationship to be something else.

Our friendship turned 24 years this year,

and he and I both know it will last for much longer.

I'm happy to have him as a good friend of mine.

And I'm pretty sure he is grateful, too.

I am a good friend to him.

---------------------

Side story.

Three years ago, when I visited my family in Argentina,

I got to know that the crush had been mutual.

He confessed about his long and painful first love story like this:

I was the first girl he met in Argentina,

so he had no other choice than liking me.

It sounded very familiar, haha.

And once again I realized that

you fall in love because you just... simply... have no other choice.

What business are you in?

2009-07-22T20:20:00.007+09:00

Mark Johnson:
"Roger, you have such a profound voice. You shouldn't be playing music here. There'll be thousands of studios wanting to work with you. What are you doing here on the streets?"

Roger Ridley:
"Man, I'm not in the music business. I'm in the JOY BUSINESS."

Biography: Roger Ridley and his music embody everything that music is : soul, perseverance, and talent. He has often been called "the voice of God" by the other street musicians on the 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica, California. His dedication to his audience is clear, traveling from his home in Las Vegas, Nevada to his spot in Santa Monica every Saturday and giving his best performance before returning home that night. It was Roger's performance of Stand By Me that sent Playing for Change off on its mission to connect the world through music by adding other musicians to his recording.
- from www.playingforchange.com

An episode of future library experience

2009-07-20T00:07:00.003+09:00

There are two main reasons I go to a college Library: I have a specific purpose of searching certain information or I just go there to read whatever it makes me feel like reading. I can do these activities at home, but I deliberately go to the library because first, I have access to a broader variety of books and second, I like sitting in a quite and intellectual atmosphere and do my work at a specific time period. But there are few things that bother me. They require me to pass through all the entrance procedures. I understand that identification checking is important, but it is something that I do not enjoy at all.

Let’s see the first case where I go there to find specific information. First, I have to look for the information I want to find either on the web or personally. In case I search for books on the web, I have to ask the librarians to look for them. Then I have to wait for them. After 30 minutes they are in my hands; I have to verify whether the information is actually the one I am looking for. If it is so, I read it and probably I want to continue searching for further information. So I go and sit in front of the computer and do the process again. If the information is not the one I needed, I go back and sit in front of the computer to do the process, as well. I have to start from zero. The computer does not keep record of my searching records, nor does it have an application such as that of Amazon where I can find other books that have relationships with a certain part I am interested in. So, in many cases, I end up being hours at the library to find too little relevant information.

It would be ultimately amazing if the library digitized all the papers it has and offers services through digital ink based screens right ad hoc. This newly radical digital convergence will certainly revolutionize the concept that most people have about libraries.

All the references are linked to each other, so I could cross check and research much more rapidly. Once I leave the place and revisit some time later, I could trace the search record, so I do not need to go through the search labyrinth all over again.

I do not need to physically be at the library to read the information I need. I would have access to all the information I could find at the library through a laptop on the internet. So, my library could be at home, at the Starbucks, on my way on the subway.

The digitized library will have a research or book reading social network system, where people with similar research focus to mine or from completely different backgrounds share opinions and understanding of specific parts of the books. It will give me a collective researching and learning experience.

Deep in our minds, we doubt whether this will actually come true. We are quite pessimistic when it comes to changing our paradigms. But, once we retrospect and see how the world has radically changed through technology innovation in the past ten years, we can surely predict a new world of library in the very near future.

L.O.V.E.

2009-07-14T00:59:00.010+09:00

Rich people say that wealth is not important, that it's meaningless.

I say it becomes meaningless once after you have it.

That if you don't, it has such a great meaning.

Popular people say that fame only brings about loneliness.

I say that no-fame is even lonelier, that life is solitary after all.

Powerful people say that power fades away so soon,

that it betrays you much more than it praises you.

I say that's an arrogant and hypocrite comment,

an insult to the demoralized powerless common.

Great looking people say that appearance is tricky,

that a sincere inner beauty is what really counts.

Then, why are you pouring so much on your externalities

even knowing you can't ever win the flying time?

Intellectuals say that knowledge never comforts,

that it conducts you to the road of depression.

But I bet they will never trade their miserable depression

for ignorance, not even for happy ignorance.

And I say again, it's funny, really funny

that although all of them are value-free

you so firmly believe in them when you don't have them,

and that they only become meaningless once after you conquer them.

That I have to have them

to fully experience to realize their meaninglessness.

And I say again, it's stupid, really stupid

that you live your whole life in pursuit of the meaninglessness

just to validate at the end what you already know

and regret for not having what's meaningful.

You will controversially reckon your misinterpretation on life

but you won't give up the meaninglessness you so hardly got.

So you laugh at your funny life and your stupid self.

You start wondering

what transcends all this,

what has eternal meaning,

what makes your life indeed beautiful.

And you smile, just smile

because you found the truth,

the only right answer,

fair to anyone,

open and easy to all.

2009-07-12T23:57:00.014+09:00

...

you consciously or unconsciouly choose not to know

you know you have to do something about it

but life is hard to even to satiate your greed

so, you just don't let it hurt you

you just choose to be indifferent

it's easier and comfortable

you know that's dangerous

but you close your eyes and tap your ears

pretending it doesn't exist

pretending you don't know

Design attitude

2009-07-11T18:38:00.005+09:00

Relationships is not only among people. We relate with our surrounding environments, our trivial things, our pasts, our dreams. We relate with every single particle and abstract that exist in the whole universe. It's in this logic that we can say all problems we face are relationship problems.

I usually considered a problem something to be categorized according to my interests. The most interesting ones were classified as the most importants, and to this type of problems I would devote most of my efforts. A problem followed by a certain type of relationship would be either in this group OR in other groups. In other words, I had a static and fixed matrix in my mind where, according to specific characteristics, I would categorize problems. It worked cost effectively, time efficiently and perfectly fine for busy and efficient people like me. The concept of AND which may suggest you may encounter the same problem in differents dimensions simultaneously did not fit well in my matrix. This was the decision making process I used to take to choose among alternative solutions. Somehow, I blindly believed solutions were somewhere there; I only needed to find them out. We people naturally disregard the power of an empty mind that allows us to create and re-invent things.

One day I made a very tough decision. Actually I am still under training and still it is hard to change my habits. But well, yes. I got rid of my matrix and put an empty white paper in my mind instead. The empty space was the foundation where I could write about the new thing I come up with, draw about it, describe, erase and re-describe my relationship with it. The empty space allowed me to continuously set and reshape an ever dynamic and evolving relationship. The emptiness was indeed a judgment-free zone where I could actually see and create what was not there, what is possible. It becomes a pure art of designing, and its best tool is an empty mind, ready for seeing, doing, experiencing, creating and re-creating what is not there. It is hard to start from nothing. But it is from nothing you start creating something.

Twitter

2009-07-11T00:24:00.006+09:00

I had registered in a Twitter account couple of months ago, but didn't really follow up. I just couldn't see the fun and joy of twitting. Today, this usually happens when you have to study for exams but end up doing things totally unrelated and unproductive, I actually started to see how it worked. I still need more time to manipulate it and experience it a bit more, but for the moment, it is quite fun. Maybe it will help me keep track record of all of my trivialities and that's a good thing. A beautiful life is basically composed of simple, sometimes boring, and trivial times and spaces.

Once again, I am deeply grateful I was born in the internet era. There is so much fun going on here. Amazing, amazing, amazing. Amazing to think that I might eventually stop writing my journals on a paper notebook. (I had thought that I would never change this particular habit.) It is likely that I replace my journals by twitting my moments.

Another surprising thing was that very but very few friends of mine twit. Or better to say, most of them don't even have an account. What should I think about this phenomenon? Is Twitter too banal for busy people like us? Or are we just out of fashion? Or are we simply getting old?

Will you marry me

2009-07-09T01:24:00.011+09:00

It has been long time since I had visited Seoul Center of Arts. I had free tickets to Seoul National Orchestra's concert, so I stopped everything I was doing and headed there. Well, as expected, classical music was not the most entertaining, especially if you didn't know the parts that were being played. The most reasonable thing I could do was to try to entertain myself when the piece got tedious and boring. I kept my eyes on the drummers' every movement. Actually it seemed that their jobs were not that hard as one could imangine. They just simply handled the most rudimentary instruments even kids at kindergarten know how to use.

Changing the topic...

When the baritone singer was about to finish his repertoirs, people got so excited by his performance that they kept on and on applauding and asking for more songs. He, instead of doing what we all were expecting, called his girlfriend to ask her to come to the stage so that he could propose her to marry him in front of the audience. I had never expected that I would be enjoying this kind of reality and live shows. The show had got really interesting, indeed. Better was when despite his repeated calls, she didn't show up. She had left her seat to meet her fiance back stage. He had no choice but to embarrass himself and start with his encore song.

Then he left the stage and soon appeared again with his beloved one to do what he had proposed to do that night. The rest of the story is somewhat obvious. By this time, I wasn't that interested anymore. Actually, almost all the people were about to leave the place. The spontaneity and freshness of the show became instantly old.

What lesson did I learn?

Good shows as well as marriages should be held on time.

Everything is about timing.

Universe

2009-07-07T14:50:00.006+09:00

Under the assumption that all is composed of me and what is not me, the sum of me and not-me equals universe. The universe without me is meaningless in the same way it is meaningless without not-me.

Me and not-me confront with each other in a disorderly manner. However, its product, the universe, is symmetrically in harmony. In other words, often me and not-me collide disorderly in this relationship, but since the universe is base for their existences and embraces their common ground, both compromise and convey into a balance point.

Of course, me changes all the time trying to break the status quo to find a new balance. Same happens to the not-me. This creates continuous tension within the universe. There are many ways to explode this tension: war, persuasion, extermination, compromise. Whatever it is the method, there is always a new final output.

This is the process how the universe evolves, and once me or not-me ceases to exist, it goes back to the initial point of emptyness. It is now when all becomes nothing and meaningless. Of course there is no reason for me and not-me to be lazy in the evolutionary process of the universe, even if reality says that the destiny of all is nothing. Both me and not-me should work hard for the good so that the evolution path becomes good in effect. The outcomes that are never-endingly created by tension-breaking process of the universe vanish constantly. But that's not a motivation to stop doing good. After all, the outcomes that are created need to be good while they are given their ephimeral existence.

Deeper relationships

2009-07-07T12:15:00.002+09:00

When we're full of fear and anxiety, we don't get close to each other. We back off from each other. We're afraid of being rejected, manipulated, vulnerable, hurt, or used. All of these fears cause us to disconnect in life. This fear is as old as humanity. People have been doing that ever since creation. We're afraid, so we hide. We hide our true selves. We don't let people know what we're really like. We don't let them see the inside of us. Why? Because if we let people know what we're like and they don't like it, we're up a creek without a paddle. Tough luck. Why am I afraid to tell you who I am? Because if I tell you who I am, and you don't like me, I'm in for it. I have no alternative. So we wear masks and we pretend.

Fear does three terrible things to relationships:
1. Fear makes us defensive. We're afraid to reveal ourselves. We defend ourselves. When people point out our weaknesses, we retaliate and defend ourselves.
2. Fear keeps us distant. We don't let people get close to us. We want to withdraw, pull back. We want to hide our emotions. We don't want to be open and honest. We become defensive and distant.
3. Fear makes us demanding. Whenever we're insecure, and the more insecure we are, the more we try to control. So we try to have the last word in a relationship. We try to dominate, control. It's always a symptom of fear and insecurity.

by Rick Warren
-----------------
Whether to take a step further in the relationship or not depends on my decision. While living on earth, I am in continuous decisive moments. This time, it is critical.

He will carry you

2009-07-05T19:33:00.003+09:00

there is no problem too big God cannot solve it

there is no mountain too tall He cannot move it

there is no storm too dark God cannot calm it

there is no sorrow too deep He cannot soothe it

if He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders

i know, my brother, that He will carry you

if He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders

i know, my sister, that He will carry you

------

i only need to empty myself,

and let Him carry me through the only path He created for me

He is my alpha and my omega

Dexter - Siniester

2009-07-01T16:22:00.005+09:00

I am a right handed person.

And I use it most of the time, and much more than a normal person.

I have lived this way for almost 30 years.

That is why my right hand has so many wrinkles

and its fingers are much thicker.

Yes, it has deteriorated and it's my fault.

In contrast, my left hand is softer, thinner, more ladylike.

Today I bought a red manicure to brush my nails.

As predicted, my softer left hand looked better

since it was my skillful right hand that painted it.

My clumsy left hand brushed its partner,

which turned out to look like my grandmother 's old hand.

Dexter means right hand, righteousness, justice in Latin while siniester means left hand, out of the righteousness, evil, horror.

The one who is able to use both hands alternatively is called ambidexter.

Well, no way Romans could have named this person an ambisinister.

The left have been ignored, not to say depreciated, for long time.

But today, my siniester looks much more attractive.

There is nothing absolute in this world.

All things that exist on earth are just ambiguous and unclear.

Negative Marginal Learning Rate

2009-06-30T00:18:00.004+09:00

I think I reached to a point where regardless of how much input is in my brains, there is really tiny output. In worse cases, I end up creating by-products such as weird behaviors and habits. The more time I sit and try to learn, the more tired I get. The harder I try to concentrate, the easier to get distracted. Yes, I have got to the saturation point where nothing helps but an explosion of the current status.

So, the best thing I can do when the marginal learning rate is below zero is to close my books, turn my laptop off and just go sleep or play.

Now I am getting to understand how stressful the lives of the Korean kids are. Gosh... mothers here are cruel.

Have a good night and lots of sweet dreams!

Long tail effect

2009-06-24T23:58:00.005+09:00

Yes! Today, at last, I have finished with my MBA day time courses. It is a relief; it's been long time I hadn't had actual physical time. So, the first thing I had in mind this afternoon, which has been around for long, was to sleep until I got tired of sleeping. Ha! I just coulndn't wait for that.

Well... that was a thought I had today at 5pm when the last course ended. I was so full of expectations of finally getting to do whatever I wanted. Unfortunately, that happiness lasted 1 hour. And now, here I am, again, thinking of the next many things I have to do that I have procrastinated these past two months.

This pattern has ruled my life for many years, and honestly, I am getting tired and upset about it. The very thinking of "I will have time once I finish this." had such a long tail. Well, a never ending tail. Being busy was not an external state I had been encountering. It was a state of mind that repeatedly and cyclically influeced my lifestyle.

The only thing I hope is that this clear concept that will help me overcome my evilish pattern.

Enthusiasm is doing a lot. Passion is doing it with a purpose.

믿음

2009-06-22T04:20:00.004+09:00

이성의 영역인 안다는 것이나 감성의 영역인 느낌다는 것으로 산다는 것은 동물적인 인생을 산다는 것을 의미한다. 영혼을 가진 인간으로서 우리는 아는 것만으로도 살 수 없으며 느낀다는 것만으로도 살 수 없다. 지식은 감성의 탄탄한 밑거름이 되며 감정은 지식을 아름답고 풍성하게 하기 때문에 삶에 있어서 반드시 필요하다. 그러나 충분한 조건은 아니다.

결국 삶의 우주적 차원을 하나의 점으로 수렴하는 믿음으로만 살아야 동물적인 존재가 아닌 영성을 가진 인간으로서의 삶을 영위할 수 있는 것이다. 신념과 믿음만이 보이지 않는 푯대를 향하여 인생을 지속적으로 드라이브 시키기 때문이다. 이성과 감성은 믿음이 이끄는 삶을 풍성하고 견고하게 만드는 꼭 필요한 요소이며 이들간의 조화는 아주 중요한 역할을 한다. 매우 이성적이어서 교만해지는 것과 매우 감정적이어서 어리석어지는 것을 조심해야 할 것이다.

무신(無信)의 삶은 희망도 꿈도 없어 불행해질 수밖에 없다.

무엇을 믿는 것도 중요하지만 믿음을 간직한 채 한걸음 한걸음 나아가는 것이 더욱 중요하다.

인생은

믿는 대로 된다.

Digital Rights

2009-06-18T13:02:00.006+09:00

Copyright의 존재 목적은 많은 사람들이 창의적 활동을 하게 함이다. 그들의 창작물이 보호 받아야 더 창조하고자 동기부여를 받기 때문이다.

그러나 현상은,,,

Copyright를 통한 대다수의 창의력 발휘의 증가가 아닌 소수의 한 번 만들어버린 작품으로 수십년동안 돈버는 데 사용된다. 거대한 미디어 대기업들이 장악한 유통채널로 장사하기 어려우니 Copyright니 Digital Rights니, 개도국은 준법 정신이 없다느니 하면서 나서댄다.

항상 아기 걸음마식으로 사회의 변화를 따라오는 법체제를 바꾸지 못하기에 현재 시스템에 맞는 비즈니스 모델로 돈버는 애플의 아이디어는 '좋다'. 그러나 사회가 변하듯이 법체제도 변할 것이기 때문에 미디어 기업들은 현재 가지고 있는 사업방식을 고수하기 위해 변호사들을 고용하면서 권리이니 뭐니 하는 데 돈 쓰기보다는 다른 방식으로 돈벌어보고자 노력해야 할 것이다. 웹에서 태풍같이 쏟아다니는 음악과 동영상과 아이디어의 파일들을 막을 수 없는 것이 당연하다.

새로운 물결을 시원하기 타기 위하여

새로운 비즈니스 모델을 개발하지 않으면 도태될 게 뻔하다.

Web3.0은 비단 IT 기업의 몫만이 아니다.

Desire

2009-06-17T01:25:00.003+09:00

If you have no wish, then how will you make it become real?

No option

2009-06-09T01:41:00.003+09:00

What is before you might be big, small, important, insignificant or whatever value you put it. So, your attitude and efforts will depend on how much value you give to what is before you. But regardless of your evaluation, you should never forget that you cannot change or ignore what is given to you and that the only wise way to face it is to give your best attitude and effort.

용기

2009-06-06T13:04:00.007+09:00

용기는 아집과 다르며 두려움으로 인한 분주함과 다르다.

알고 싶지 않은 진실을 대면할 줄 알며
보고 싶으나 필요 없는 것에 대해서는 무지하기를 선택한다.

희망 없는 것을 끝까지 붙잡고 인내하나
끝까지도 포기하고 싶지 않은 것을 내려놓을 줄도 안다.

눈에 보이는 현상에 현혹되지 않기를 결단하는 것이며
보이지 않는 진리를 믿고 순종하기를 결심하는 것이다.

그래

2009-06-04T14:17:00.008+09:00

매일매일 연습하는 것이다.
순간순간의 승리와 실패를 반성하고
겸손하고자 노력하며 희망을 놓지 않고자 훈련하는 것이다.

끊임 없는 자기부인이며
나의 존재를 괴롭히는 에고와 교만을 버리는 것이며
이를 위해서는 인정하고 싶지 않은 벌거벗은 나의 모습을
그대로 받아드리는 고통을 감내하는 것이다.

진리는 눈에 보이는 화려한 거짓과 반대의 방향이기에
본성이 가고자 하는 길에서 발걸음을 돌릴 줄 알아야 하며
수없이 듣고 알고 있는 진리를 이젠 믿어야 하며 나아가는 것이다.

생각과 마음과 감정은 혼란스러워
괴롭고 토할 것 같은 여정을 포기하고자 하겠지만
끊임없는 훈련은 결국 단순하고 핵심이 완성되는 삶이 되는 것이다.

부끄러움

2009-06-01T01:58:00.005+09:00

나이 들면 주름, 뱃살, 꾀, 지혜 등의 많은 것이 늘어나고
나이 들면 잠, 부끄러움, 지능 등이 줄어든다.

사우나에서 목욕하고 있는데 실수로 남자가 들어왔단다. 탕에 있는 여성들이 반응하기도 전에 그는 너무 놀란 나머지 바로 뛰쳐나갔다. 이전 같았으면 어이없어 하며 보안이니, 변태니 하면서 한참을 시끌거리며 항의했을 텐데, 오늘은 왜 이리 웃기던지. 나도 나이가 먹었나보다. 창피없는 건 아줌마의 영역만이 아니구나.

Freedom

2009-05-24T21:16:00.004+09:00

Someone had said it before, "A truly free society is the one where people can freely choose to be nobody."

Definitely, there is no freedom in life.

Recordando a Mario Benedetti

2009-05-19T02:44:00.003+09:00

NO TE SALVES

No te quedes inmóvil al borde del camino
no congeles el júbilo
no quieras con desgana
no te salves ahora ni nunca.
No te salves
no te llenes de calma
no reserves del mundo sólo un rincón tranquilo
no dejes caer lo párpados pesados como juicios
no te quedes sin labios
no te duermas sin sueño
no te pienses sin sangre
no te juzgues sin tiempo.

Pero si pese a todo no puedes evitarlo
y congelas el jubilo
y quieres con desgana
y te salvas ahora
y te llenas de calma
y reservas del mundo sólo un rincón tranquilo
y dejas caer los párpados pesados como juicios
y te secas sin labios
y te duermes sin sueño
y te piensas sin sangre
y te juzgas sin tiempo
y te quedas inmóvil al borde del camino
y te salvas
entonces no te quedes conmigo

인생설계에 대한 새로운 성찰

2009-05-16T23:47:00.006+09:00

오늘 저녁 쌍강이랑 아이스크림 먹으면서 최근에 고민하고 있던 주제(인생설계)에 대한 생각을 나누었다.

난 55세~60세까지 열심히 일하고 75세~80세까지 살 거라고 생각하고 인생을 계획했었다. 그래서 퇴직 이후의 15~25년의 노후생활을 고민 없이 보내기 위해 어떻게 해야 할까 계획을 짜곤 했었다. 뭐, 그래봤자 돈 많이 벌어 놓기, 남은 생애가 보람되도록 봉사활동하기, 나의 전문지식을 사회에 환원하기, 행여나 그 전에 죽을 수도 있다라는 생각에 앞으로 생길 어린 자식들을 위하여 최소한의 배려(보험) 준비하기였다.

그러나 Outdoor 특강에서도 언급된 것과 같이 내가 만약 120세까지 살게 되면 어떻하나? 다들 공감하다시피 인생은 맘대로 되는 게 아니기에 '뜻밖에도 오래 살아버리게' 될 수도 있는 게 아닌가. 옛날과 달리 오래 살게 되는 것이 축복이 아닐 수도 있고, 인생설계에 있어서 worst case scenario가 될 수도 있다는 것이 웃기지만, 수명이 점점 길어지고 있는 현실을 보니 나의 인생설계는 구식이 돼버렸다는 것이 확신이 든다.

50세에 은퇴하고 120세까지 살면 무려 70년동안의 기간을 어떻게 보내야 하나. 50세까지의 거의 노동착취에 가까운 삶을 살면서 제2의 커리어를 준비도 못할 뿐더러 직장생활 하면서 모을 수 있는 돈 가지고는 70년을 버티지 못할 게 뻔하다. 거기서 건강까지 나빠봐라. 자식이 성공하고 돈 많이 번다고 하더라도 70년 동안의 효도는 기대하지 않은 것이 상책일 것이다.

누가 그러지 않았나. 최고를 위해 준비하고 최악에 대비하라고. (Expect for the best, prepare for the worst) 그래서 내 인생설계를 다시 한 번 점검하기로 했다.

구체적인 플랜은 좀 더 고민해야겠지만 우선 4개의 영역으로 인생설계를 하고자 한다.

1. Financial Planning: 돈. 정말 중요하다.
2. Career Planning: 자기실현 차원에서도, Income source로도 제2, 제3의 커리어는 중요한 역할을 할 것이다.
3. Leisure Planning: 나이 들어 할 수 있는 여가 활동에 대한 대비도 필요할 것 같다. 인생, 별 거 있나. 재밌게 살자.
4. Health Planning: 1을 즐겁고 보람있게, 2. 3을 별일 없이 진행하려면 건강은 기본 전제가 된다.

이 4가지 영역은 서로 상호연관성을 가지기 때문에 전략적으로 잘 짜서 시너지 효과를 내면 금상첨화라고 생각한다. 가령 여가활동이 건강 증진에 기여하고 새로운 제2의 커리어에 밑거름이 되면 좋지 않을까......

쌍강 왈 "인생설계 consultant가 필요해."
정말 이런 인생설계 consultant라는 직업이 앞으로 탄생할까? ㅎㅎ

Operación Bikini

2009-05-15T17:27:00.004+09:00

¡Ya llega el verano!

Más práctica de líneas.

Muda

2009-05-07T01:22:00.002+09:00

십자가

2009-05-06T23:12:00.007+09:00

30년 인생 동안 이렇게 깊게 느끼고 깨닫지 못했다.
내 삶과 이 우주는 그리스도가 달린 십자가 하나로 설명된다는 것을.
나의 정체성이자 세계관이며, 내 인생의 기준과 생활의 방법임을.
자기 부인의 출발점이며 참된 자아의 완성임을.
십자가 때문에 모든 것이 의미가 없어지며 모든 것이 의미 있어짐을.
십자가가 바로 내가 믿는 기독교의 사명이자 전부임을.
사랑과 정의가 실현되는 구원의 유일한 길임을.

Ejercitando mi cerebro derecho

2009-05-05T16:43:00.001+09:00

Necesito practicar...

기억

2009-05-03T01:10:00.005+09:00

"잘못된 기억도 만들어지는 방식에 있어서는 실제 기억과 별 차이가 없다. 따라서 인간은 잘못된 기억을 안고 살아갈 수 밖에 없다. 기억의 문을 열고 첫발을 내딘 순간부터 그 안에는 수 많은 잘못된 기억들도 함께 쌓여간다. 실제 기억에서 잘못된 기억이 만들어지는 것뿐만 아니라 잘못된 기억에 기반해서 실제 기억이 만들어지기도 한다. 그 두가지는 혼재되어 우리가 기억하는 전체가 되고 결국 각자가 기억하는 자신의 삶이 된다.

앞으로 수없이 많이 기억을 하게 될 우리. 우리의 기억 속에도 진짜 기억과 가짜 기억은 혼재되어 존재하게 될 것이며 그건 어쩔 수 없는 일이다. 하지만 그렇다고 너무 안타까워할 필요 없다. 가짜든 진짜든 적어도 어떻게 기억할 것인지 즉, 우리가 우리의 기억을 어떻게 재구성하여 우리가 선택할 수 있는 몫이기 때문이다. 그 선택이 자기 자신과 자신이 사랑하는 사람들에게 행복을 가져다주길 기원해본다."

- from Wonderful Science EBS: 기억의 재구성

Morale:
긍정적으로 생각하며, 범사에 감사하고, 소망을 가지고 살자 *^^*
당분간 noir 분위기의 생각은 쉬겠습니다~

Death

2009-05-01T21:15:00.010+09:00

Relative happyness
Subjective definitions
Partial wisdom
Biased values
Selfish love
Hypocrite justice
Democratic tyranny
Blurry truth
Fair, objective, clear, perfect death

Absolute, unknown to us, feared by all
Everything meaningless under its presence
Ultimate cause for Life once on the cross

Fear to this absolute power of death
has been bothering my inner peace the whole week
I wouldn't bear any death
Not now because I am not prepared
Not even if I were prepared
I'm just too weak to suffer loss, to bear regrests

구역질

2009-04-30T00:27:00.013+09:00

앞뒤옆을 보지 않고 그저 무리가 가는 곳으로만 따라가다 절벽에 떨어져버리는 양떼와 인생의 방향에 대해 고민하지 않으면서 그저 남이 하는 대로 결정하고 행동하는 우리는 뭐가 다르며,

리더십의 개념이 사회적 이슈로 유행되면서 어떻게 단기간에 효율적으로 타인에게 영향을 미칠 것인가에 관심을 쏟지만, 진정 자신에 대한 리더십은 고민도 하지 않으면서 생활도, 습관도, 가치관도, 철학도 없이 살아가는 사람이 얼마나 많은가.

상대방의 마음을 얻기 위해 무수한 생각과 전략을 짜지만 진정 자신의 마음과 생각과 습관을 다스리기 위한 노력과 시간 투자에는 얼마나 게으르고 인색하며,

이기적이고, 어리석고, 거짓되며 허영심에 가득찬 자신과 싸우는 이 전쟁을 타협해버리는 것과 끝까지 버티고자 하는 의지 사이에 우왕자왕하여 이러지도 못하고 저러지도 못하는 것이 뜨겁지도 차갑지도 않아 결국 구역질을 야기해 토해 버려지는 존재와 뭐가 다른가.

그러나,

뜨겁든 차갑든 미지근하든, 이기적이든 이타적이든, 진실되든 거짓되든, 지혜롭든 어리석든, 이러쿵 저러쿵 소위 귀하다고, 하찮다고 일컬어지는 삶들이 죽음 앞에서 서로 뭐가 그리 다르겠는가.

Grandfather

2009-04-30T00:12:00.000+09:00

자손후대를 위하여 7대 소원하는 기도문

1. 여호와를 경외하며 그도에 행하는 자손들이 되게 하여 주시옵소서. (시128:1~6)
여호와를 경외하며 그도에 행하는 자마다 복이 있도다.네가 네 손이 수고한 대로 먹을 것이라 네가 복되고 형통하리로다. 네 집 내실에 있는 네 아내는 결실한 포도나무 같으며 네 상에 둘린 자식은 어린 감람나무 같으리로다. 여호와를 경외하는 자는 이같이 복을 얻으리로다. 여호와께서 시온에서 네게 복을 주실지어다 너는 평생 에 예루살렘의 복을 보며 네 자식의 자식을 볼지어다 이스라엘에게 평강이 있을지로다

2. 예수님을 전적으로 믿고 사는 자손들이 되게 하여 주시옵소서.(행16:31/요11:25~27)
가로되 주 예수를 믿으라 그리하면 너와 네 집이 구원을 얻으리라 하고

예수께서 가라사대 나는 부활이요 생명이니 나를 믿는 자는 죽어도 살겠고 무릇 살아서 나를 믿는 자는 영원히 죽지 아니하리니 이것을 네가 믿느냐 가로되 주여 그러하외다 주는 그리스도시요 세상에 오시는 하나님의 아들이신 줄 내가 믿나이다

3. 예수님을 가정에 모시고 사는 자손들이 되게 하여 주시옵소서.(요15:7)
너희가 내 안에 거하고 내 말이 너희 안에 거하면 무엇이든지 원하는 대로 구하라 그리하면 이루리라

4. 예수님을 배우고 예수님을 닮는 자손들이 되게 하여 주시옵소서.(마11:29)
나는 마음이 온유하고 겸손하니 나의 멍에를 메고 내게 배우라 그러면 너희 마음이 쉼을 얻으리니

5. 하늘에 계신 내 아버지 뜻대로 행하는 자손들이 되게 하여 주시옵소서.(마7:21)
나더러 주여 주여 하는 자마다 천국에 다 들어갈 것이 아니요 다만 하늘에 계신 내 아버지의 뜻대로 행하는 자라야 들어가리라

6. 성령의 열매를 많이 맺고 사는 자손들이 되게 하여 주시옵소서.(갈5:22~24)
오직 성령의 열매는 사랑과 희락과 화평과 오래 참음과 자비와 양선과 충성과 온유와 절제니 이 같은 것을 금지할 법이 없느니라 그리스도 예수의 사람은 그 정과 욕심을 십자가에 못 박았느니라

7. 예수님 다시 오실때 다 들려 올라가는 자손들이 되게 하여 주시옵소서.(살전4:16~17)
주께서 호령과 천사장의 소리와 하나님의 나팔로 친히 하늘로 좇아 강림하시리니 그리스도 안에서 죽은 자들이 먼저 일어나고 그 후에 우리 살아 남은 자도 저희와 함께 구름 속으로 끌어올려 공중에서 주를 영접하게 하시리니 그리하여 우리가 항상 주와 함께 있으리라

Netted, therefore smarter and probably wiser

2009-04-20T16:22:00.004+09:00

I cannot explain how grateful I feel each time I am submerged in the web. I am speechless at the speed I get the newest information, the wisest opinions, and the weirdest perspectives on small and big things that occur around us. Instant access and multiple interactions with the most remote part of the world was something unimaginable ten years ago. Certainly it is one of the greatest inventions of humanity and I am one of those that take its fullest advantage.

Not only I am communicating with family and friends across continents, I am also sharing knowledge with people that influenced my views, most of whom I had not dared to approach due to their undisputable reputation. And it is so amazing getting to know their perspectives on a daily basis. I can access to documents and files that inform me and help me fill and shape my knowledge. Internet became an essential tool for me to become smarter.

Key point here however, is whether out of unlimited amount of information and knowledge, I am actually becoming wiser. I definitely got smarter and quicker in many aspects, but as most would agree, intellect differs from rationality. And it requires a lot of energy and constant in-depth thinking to reach to the dimension of what we call reason. Intelligence provides us with the good tools to reasoning, but being intelligent does not mean you are capable of good reasoning. Plus, this kind of mental training can be solely achieved consciously and with a high level of effort. So, decision making plays an important role here. It is up to the person whether he or she decides to reason.

Interestingly, although there are certainly pleasures in reasoning, not so many people choose to do so. There can be many factors that affect this behavior. Lazyness and selfishness followed by indifference can be good reasons why people do not want to think. Lack of intellect, therefore failure to right judgement, can be another cause, which, in times of abundant information such as today, can be regarded as an excuse. What is really sad is that I am encountering so many not smart and unwise people. And it irritates me to see that even all human kind is homo sapien, not everyone commits their time to thinking. Maybe they don't find pleasures in real thinking as much as in their shallow talking.

People are different. Happyness is subjective. Success is not fair. Life is not fair. Well, fair enough.

Anger Management

2009-04-14T16:07:00.008+09:00

"Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody's power, that is not easy." -Aristotle

"Consider how much more you often suffer from your anger and grief, than from those very things for which you are angry and grieved." -Marcus Antonius

"I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to." -Author Unknown

"Always write angry letters to your enemies. Never mail them." -James Fallows

"Anger is one letter short of danger." -Author Unknown

"Anger is never without a reason, but seldon with a good one" -Benjamin Franklin

"In a controversy, the instant we feel anger, we have already ceased striving for truth and have begun striving for ourselves." -Abraham Heschel

"It is wise to direct your anger towards problems - not people; to focus your energies on answers - not excuses." -William Ward

"Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame." -Benjamin Franklin

"The angry people are those people who are most afraid."

"So long as a man is angry he cannot be in the right." - Chinese proverb

"When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, one hundred." - Horacius

"Anger is the most impotent of passions. It effects nothing it goes about, and hurts the one who is possessed by it more than the one against whom it is directed." - Clarendon

"Anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding." - Ghandi

Mi primer dibujo depués de casi una década

2009-04-11T14:10:00.006+09:00

Lo que uno puede llegar a hacer cuando está al borde de un ataque de histeria. La clase y las presentaciones de mis compañeros eran tan pero tan aburridas que ya no podía controlar mis nervios. Bueno... al menos me di cuenta de que estar sumergida en el dibujo alivia los síntomas. En mi caso, no tengo ni talento ni creatividad ni imaginación para dibujar. Un profundo aburrimiento bastó para que yo ignorase totalmente mis carencias las cuales me habían impedido tomar lápiz y papel por más de diez años.

A mail from Shienna

2009-04-11T13:53:00.002+09:00

It is simply nice to share beatiful views on life with people around me.

요절한 문학가 전혜린이 동생 채린이에게 쓴 편지

채린아! 장미는 온실에만 피는 것이 아니라는 것을 잊지 말고 외국에 대한 열을 무시하도록. '장미'라는 사실이 중요하지 '온실'인가 '산'인가는 아무것도 아니다. 너는 좋은 소질을 가진 인간이니까 그것을 키워서 꽃 피워줘. 지상 목표를 인식(선과 미)에 두고 매일의 생활을 노력의 과정이라고 보고 결과를 생각하지 말고 그 과정 과정에 충실한 넘친 생을 누려줘. 자아와의 끊임없는 대화를 끊지 말고 자기를 미칠 듯이 사랑하고 아끼되, 자기의 추나 악을 바라보는 지성의 눈동자도 눈감지 말아줘. (1956.01.27)

True, false, and not false

2009-04-09T23:00:00.002+09:00

"Falsehood ceases to be falsehood when it is understood on all sides that the truth is not expected to be spoken" - Carr

파이

2009-04-09T00:09:00.002+09:00

파이의 큰 조각을 차지할 것인가 vs. 파이를 키울 것인가

Silver lining

2009-04-07T22:23:00.004+09:00

Above : US Trade balance comparison graph

The economic backlash is deepening on daily basis, and soon we will see our livelihoods radically affected. People are in despair as the crisis time lag is much longer than expected. Tumultuous years are expected just like 1930's, though many say this time will be much worse.

Be aware of the declining numbers and graphs. Be conscious of the scary situation. But don't be scared. Do not let your frozen accounts or your empty wallets torment your soul. After all, every cloud has a silver lining.

Resources are given and taken away. Yet we will always have as much as we need. The truth is that everything is provided in the right amount. Don't let abundance or scarcity affect your integrity. This is a new chance for you to redefine many of the most essential values that shape your existence.

헛되고 헛되도다

2009-04-06T16:32:00.010+09:00

We all know that a little change can make our lives different. Yet, we are so much used to our status-quo that we seldom welcome anything new. Alternatively, many times we need to stay still and wait. However we dare things of which huge repercussions are left to us and even to others. And that’s human being’s life, a continuous chain of repetitive stupidity. As the old wise man said, there is nothing new under the sun.

헛되고 헛되며 헛되고 헛되니 모든것이 헛되도다
사람이 해 아래서 수고하는 모든 수고가 자기에게 무엇이 유익한고
한 세대는 가고 한 세대는 오되 땅은 영원히 있도다
해는 떳다가 지며 그 떳던 곳으로 빨리 돌아가고 바람은 남으로 불다가 북으로 돌이키며 이리 돌며 저리 돌아 불던 곳으로 돌아가고 모든 강물은 다 바다로 흐르되 바다를 채우지 못하며 어느 곳으로 흐르든지 그리로 연하여 흐르느니라
만물의 피곤함을 사람이 말로 다 할 수 없나니 눈은 보아도 족함이 없고 귀는 들어도 차지 아니하는도다
이미 있던 것이 후에 다시 있겠고 이미 한 일을 후에 다시 할찌라
해 아래는 새 것이 없나니 무엇을 가리켜 이르기를 보라 이것이 새 것이라 할 수 있으랴 우리 오래전 세대에도 이미 있었느니라
이전 세대를 기억함이 없으니 장래 세대도 그 후 세대가 기억함이 없으리라
나 전도자는 예루살렘에서 이스라엘 왕이 되어 마음을 다하며 지혜를 써서 하늘 아래서 행하는 모든 일을 궁구하며 살핀즉 이는 괴로운 것이니 하나님이 인생들에게 주사 수고하게 하신 것이라
내가 해 아래서 행하는 모든 일을 본 즉 다 헛되어 바람을 잡으려는 것이로다
구부러진 것을 곧게 할 수 없고 어지러진 것을 셀 수 없도다
내가 마음 가운데 말하여 이르기를 내가 큰 지혜를 많이 얻었으므로 나보다 먼저 예루살렘에 있던 자보다 낫다 하였나니 곧 내 마음이 지혜와 지식을 많이 만나 보았음이로다
내가 다시 지혜를 알고자 하며 미친 것과 미련한 것을 알고자 하여 마음을 썼으나 이것도 바람을 잡으려는 줄 깨달았도다
지혜가 많으면 번뇌도 많으니 지식을 더하는 자는 근심을 더하느니라

기분나쁜 하루 기분좋은 밤

2009-03-28T23:48:00.010+09:00

일찍 일어나자 어젯밤에 다짐했건만 아침에 피곤을 이기지 못해 잠자리에서 무려 두시간 동안 뒤치닥거리다 나갈 시간에 겨우 맞춰 허겁지겁 씻고 나온다. 나름 따뜻하게 입었는데 왜 이리 추운지. 엘리베이터문이 열리자 밖에 내리는 비를 본다. 시간은 째깍째깍 흐르는데 다시 올라가 우산을 들고 나온다. 부슬부슬 내리는 비는 아침에 드라이한 내 머리를 부시시하게 만든다. 바쁜 와중에 드린 수고는 헛것이 된다.

모처럼 모닝커피를 마신다. 내가 가장 귀여워하는 잔에 커피를 타서 마시고 컴퓨터 작업하고 있는데 갑자기 내 발위에 뭔가 묵직한 것이 떨어진다. 머그가 깨지고 커피가 바닥에 엎질러진다. 상담시간은 다가오는데 이게 뭐람. 허겁지겁 치운다. 손톱아래 뭔가 따끔한다. 검지 손가락과 손톱 사이에 유리조각이 끼어 있다. 피가 줄줄 흐르고 지혈은 안된다.

오전 내내 떠들었더니 배가 고프다. 첫 젓가락질에 음식을 입에 넣으려는 찰나에 뭔가 치마에 떨어진다. 가장 아끼는 치마 중앙에 빨간 양념이 묻는다. 배고픈데 먹을 것을 뒤로한 채 열심히 닦는다.

할일은 많은데 걱정만 앞선다. 졸리고 피곤하고 춥고 머리까지 아프나 집에가고자 하는 마음은 없다. 마음가는 곳에 몸도 간다던데 요즘 내 마음은 한 곳에만 있다. 그래도 쉬고 내일을 준비해야 하니 집으로 향한다. 발이 아프다. 스타킹을 벗어보니 손가락만 다친게 아니구나.

참 기분 나쁜 하루다. 그래도 범사에 감사하랜다. 감사할 것 하나를 찾고 자야 편할 거 같아서 침대 위에서 하루를 되새겨 본다. 쏟은 커피가 다행히 식어서 난 발을 데지 않았다는 걸 깨닫는다. 살짝 웃는다.

감사할 수밖에 없도록 인생이 설계되어 있어서 놀랜다. 운이 안좋다라고 생각되는 하루라도 감사할 거리가 있어서 신기하다. 범사에 감사하라고 하는 말씀은 충분히 그렇게 할 수 있기 때문이라는 진리에 다시 한 번 감사한다. 오늘밤은 기분이 좋다.

대학동기 선애의 일기 - 3월23일

2009-03-24T21:06:00.000+09:00

아침에 버스 타고 출근하고 있는데
순복음교회 앞에서 할머니가 무임승차하셨다.
아저씨는 내리라고 난리고
할머니는 추워서 두 정거장 앞인 여의나루 역까지 못 걷겠다고
사정하시고 그랬다.

그 시간 그 추위엔 아직 나도 여의나루 역까지 걸어가기가
수월한 게 아니다.

왠지 실랑이가 길어지면
아저씨가 할머니를 끌어내릴 것만 같아서
나는 그냥 할머니에게 천원을 건넸다.

할머니가 다섯 번 정도는 이 은혜를 어떻게 갚아야 될지 모르겠다고
하나님께서 천배 만배로 하늘 나라에서 보상해 주실 거라고
말씀하셨다.

주스 한 잔 값에 너무 공치사를 심하게 들어서 마음이 불편한 나는
혹시 주위 사람이 들을까봐 왠지 그게 더 창피했다.
대단히 착한 일을 한 것도 아니고
그 시간에 여러 사람의 속이 상하는 걸 생각하면
(무임승차 당한 아저씨 + 아들뻘 아저씨한테 호통 듣는 할머니 +
불편한 마음으로 지켜보는 승객들 +
물론 아침 출근 시간에 조급한 나)
매우 합리적이고 저렴한 가격을 치뤘다는 생각을 했다.

다만 내가 마음이 좋지 않았던 것은
어쩐지 그런 식으로 살아가는/버스를 얻어 타는 것이
매우 익숙해 보이는 그 할머니가 보였던
약자가 되는 것에 익숙한 태도였다.

그런 일들은 언제나 마음이 좋지 않다.

나는 오지랖이 매우 좁은 사람이라고
스스로 생각하는 데도 불구하고
그런 식으로 타인에게 도움을 주는 일이 가끔 있는 편이다.
하지만 그건 내가 유별나게 착하거나 다정해서라기보다는
사회의 구조적 불합리함을 그렇게라도 보상해야되지 않을까 하는
막연한 의무감의 발로에 가깝다고 생각한다.

그래서 그런 식으로 타인을 돕고 나면
항상 기분이 맑지 않다.

사회는, 이 "creative destruction"은 끊임없이
구조적으로 약자를 낳으면서 또 깔아 뭉개면서
굴러가고 있기 때문이다.
나는 철저한 자본주의자에 가깝지만
자본주의의 그늘은 항상 나를 불편하게 만든다.
그래서 다들 슬쩍 눈을 돌리고 마는 것일까.

Flying over fears

2009-03-24T00:29:00.006+09:00

Since 1998, I have always had many opportunities of taking air flights to somewhere. It was because my family was in Buenos Aires while I was here in Seoul. I had to visit them. But there were also many other reasons for me to cross borders such as relatively cheaper air fees, many more friends residing abroad, many more business trips, greater purchasing power, etc.

Year 2008, however, was the first year I did not fly out of the country. Yet, I visited the airport a lot of times for pick ups and to say goodbyes, so I ended up learning almost perfectly all the configurations of the airport building. But as I haven't travelled abroad for almost two years, I have started building high expectations about my incoming trip to Europe this summer. I have to meet Mario, Kirsten, Cristina, Giona, Maria, Merce, Jeannette, Cristobal, HyeJung, Pepe. Uff....they are all dispersed across the continent, and I have limited time and limited budget.

When I was a student I used to have financial limitations. When I started to work, I had time limitations. Now, I have both of them. What a pity. Hahaha. Well, up to the moment I am thankful because I can still laugh at my circumstances. You may see me smile and grateful about life, but deep inside my heart, I only hope that my today's laughters do not turn into tears tomorrow. And I am working my butt out not to make that ever happen, not under any circumstances. Ever.

All my current efforts perhaps indicate that behind my laughters and appreciations, I still fear. I don't know exactly what. But my hundreds of question marks that aren't pondered scare me. Maybe it is not a problem of money and time limitations. Maybe it's a matter of faith. Maybe I still fear because I lack trust, trust in Him and trust in myself.

첫 봄 나들이

2009-03-22T18:36:00.009+09:00

10년 전 만난 친구들.
10년이란 세월은 각자의 인생에 많은 변화를 주었다.
그래도, 아무리 시간이 많이 흘러도,
변하지 않은 것이 있기에 삶이 좋더라.
My newest 친구 목록에 있는 대학친구들이 10년지기라니
나도 늙긴 늙었다는 증빙이겠지.

요즘 정말 바쁘다.

얼마까지만 해도 내 생활에 큰 탸격을 주지 않던 대학원 공부가

갑자기 양질의 수준을 몇 단계 점프하면서

나의 하루하루를 살짝 버겁게 한다.

해야 할 일이 쌓임에도 불구하고 다 떼려치우고

따스한 햇빛과, 푸르고 높은 하늘, 살랑거리는 바람과 함께

옛일을 기억하고 앞날을 함께 고민할 수 있다는 친구들이 있어서 좋다.

난 봄이 참 좋고 내 삶이 감사하다.

La insoportable levedad de la existencia

2009-03-17T02:55:00.005+09:00

Me dan ganas de vomitar
Es una náusea que no sé cómo explicar
Es una molestia que no me deja dormir

Es la mediocridad de las consciencias
La soberbia del intelecto
La brevedad de los pensamientos
La irresponsabilidad de las palabras
La fugacidad de los sentimientos

Es la insoportable levedad de la existencia.

Legacies are useless

2009-03-15T13:17:00.005+09:00

If a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it bears fruits.
And the fruits are there to be eaten, to be consumed up, not to be remembered.

The borderline between ambition and arrogance is blurry.
So stay focused when you project your passion.

스티브 김

2009-03-13T01:59:00.008+09:00

김윤종 회장님이 성공한 사람으로 인정받는 이유는 낯선 땅에서 두 개의 사업을 단기간에 크게 성공시켜서뿐만이 아니다. 진짜 이유는 그 누구보다 월등한 도전정신과 열정을 가졌고, 책임과 나눔의 의식이 뚜렷한 리더이기 때문에 성공한 분이심을 알게 되었다.

모든 사람은 각각의 성공 스토리가 있다. 그리고 각각의 성공 스토리에는 성공 요인들이 있으며, 강의실 안에서 우리는 그 성공요인들을 비교 분석 이론화하고 가장 효율적으로 실천하는 방법에 대하여 공부한다. 그러나 진정한 성공의 여부는 이론을 잘 적용하여 성과가 좋은지의 문제라기보다는 도전과 안정의 기로에 섰을 때 어떠한 마음가짐을 가지고 결정을 내리느냐의 문제이며, 일을 할 때 어떠한 책임의식과 어느 정도의 열정을 가지고 일에 임하느냐의 문제라는 것을 깨닫게 되었다.

What makes me a real winner is not my success stories, but my sincere commitment and passionate attitude towards life. My sacred life deserves my deepest passion, my greatest challenge, my most positive energy. And I have decided to pursue and share that kind of happy life.

Lucero

2009-03-05T21:54:00.009+09:00

오늘에게 Lucero라는 이름이 지어주었다.
바삐 살다가 하늘 위로 볼 때 비춰지는 샛별이
빛과 꿈과 힘이 되어주듯
오늘은 Lucero와 어울리는 은혜로운 하루다.

하루종일 비가 얌전히 내린다.
조용히 내 머리에 내려앉는 빗방울을 맞으니
비내리는 물 위에서 수영하는 여유로움이 느껴진다.
가뭄에 비가 내려와 메마른 곳을 적시듯
오늘은 차분한 은혜의 비가 내린다.

꽃, 편지, 맥주, 와인 한잔의 감동, 눈물, 꿈
그 무엇보다 동행하고 있다는 느낌.
숨을 쉴 수 있고, 들을 수 있고, 볼 수가 있어서 감사하다.

내 옆에 있는 꽃다발의 향기처럼
오늘은 은혜의 향기가 그윽하다.

ZOO

2009-03-05T00:34:00.018+09:00

Leadership

Today a team presented a case study that assessed the competitiveness of a zoo in Hokkaido, Japan.

Back in 1995, the zoo's management had seriously considered to close it down. None of the factors (the factors refer to those categorized by Michael Porter: factor conditions, demand conditions, structure, strategy and rivalry, and related and supporting sectors) positively influenced on its competitiveness. To make it worse, important factors such as location and weather were bad and unluckily, out of control. It was a critical moment because they had to decide whether to sustain the business or not. Fortunate was the zoo since good and proper leadership took over the management just before its death sentence. Right decisions and therefore, good strategies affected the rest of the factors that dynamically interacted with each other. Eventually the zoo improved its performance making its story one of the most successful cases in the industry.

Many areas have been enhanced thanks to good leadership. Here was when the presenter made an evaluation on the importance of leadership and strategy. And here was when I thought leadership was the most important factor that influences competitiveness since it is the ground where all the resting factors base their dynamism. He agreed with me; the professor didn't. According to Mr. Moon, leadership is important, but it especially becomes the most important factor in times of crisis.

Well, I am not quite sure about that. Leadership might be decisively the most important factor in critical situations, but still it is always the most important factor.

1. Disadvantages are opportunities to create new ways of doing things and to solve bottle neck problems that eventually will help us be more competitive. To recognize disguised disadvantages and to decide whether to solve them are a matter of leadership.

2. Porter sustains that all factors of competitiveness should be constantly enhanced. Constant efforts to enhance competitiveness should also be carried in times of stability. To execute this even when everything seems to be fine is a matter of leadership.

3. Which factors to focus, when and how to enhance them is another matter of leadership.

In other words, leadership is the basis that provides fundamental direction and balance to the whole dimension of a continuous process of competitiveness enhancement.

My old man

I so enjoyed going to the zoo with him. I remember we used to go to the zoo in Palermo and feed the animals. Then we would go to the Japanese Garden which was right in front of the zoo and feed fish in the lake. At the end of the day we often used to go to a buffet near there to finish our typical itinerary. He always had fun stories about each animal, and I really liked listening to them. He often made strange animal noises when telling his exciting stories. And I wouldn't miss any word, any sound, and even any breath of it.

We stopped hanging out at the zoo as I started to feel I was a grown up. Well, we stopped doing pretty many things together. I was too busy doing things we really have to do when we are teenagers. I don't remember exactly, but I am sure that for a teenage girl like I was, those little things were a matter-of-life important.

Curiously since I actually turned an adult, the zoo has again become our usual hanging out place. He is not as exciting as he used to be. I can't hear either fun animal stories or intereting noises from him anymore. He does not have the energy to lift me up when I feed the giraffs or the zebras. He has become slower, more silent, more discrete, less powerful. Everything has completely changed. Him, me, and the zoo. But I still love going there with him.

Tonight, I just want to hang out with my old man. Of course, at the zoo.

사춘기

2009-03-01T01:07:00.009+09:00

유아, 유년, 사춘기, 청년, 성인, 장년, 노인

내게는 감수성이 예민한 사춘기가 없었다. 특별히 반항하지도 않았고, 특별히 누군가, 뭔가에 푹 빠지지도 않았다. 그래서 말썽 없이 무난하게 커버린 착한 딸이었다고 생각한다. 특별한 사건이 없어 남들과 달리 특별한 추억도 없다. 사춘기 시절 친구들은 내가 심심했다고들 말한다.

근데 난 나의 사춘기가 내 인생의 가장 좋은 시기라고 아직도 생각하고 있다. 특별함이 하나도 없었지만 내 인생에 가장 특별한 시기였다. 여태 사람들이 왜냐고 물어봤을 때 딱히 좋은 이유를 댈 수가 없었다.

오늘 드디어 알아냈다. 뭐, 이유같지 않을 수도 있지만, 하나의 뚜렷한 증거를 찾아냈다.

난 노래 가사를 절대 외우지 못한다. 정확히 말하자면 뭐든 잘 외우지 못한다. 그래서 외우려고 시도조차 하지 않는다. 근데 신기하게도 그 때 들었던 노래들은 하나 같이 기억한다. 망각의 동물의 대표인 나인데.

지금도 흥얼거릴 때면 특별하지는 않았던 나의 사춘기 시절의 느낌과 생각이 되살아난다. 그 때 그 노래들은 아직도 내 영혼을 촉촉하게 적신다. 아니, 그때 노래만큼 다른 세계로 날아갈 것만 같이 내 영혼을 울리게 하는 게 없다.

음악에 관심이 없는 나인걸로 기억하는데, 지금와서 보니 내 사춘 시절에 들은 음악들... 꽤 수준있었구나.

Puzzlingly Puzzled Puzzle

2009-02-28T00:48:00.003+09:00

I so much feared to face, but I knew you would come.
I wasn't waiting for you at all.
You knew I wasn't welcoming you, but you came anyways.

I thought I couldn't deal with you.
I was too nervous, stressed, even sick.
However, when I saw you nothing big happened.
I found out I am pretty much indifferent with your presence.
I guess you are much less important than I think.

I don't know how long you would stay,
but I am not frightened anymore.

So, I guess I won this time.

Honrar la vida by Marilina Ross - 삶을 존중하는 것

2009-02-21T02:22:00.013+09:00

No.
Permanecer y transcurrir
no es perdurar, no es existir, ni honrar la vida.
Hay tantas maneras de no ser
tanta conciencia sin saber, adormecida.

Merecer la vida no es callar
y consentir tantas injusticias repetidas.
Es una virtud, es dignidad
y es la actitud de identidad más definida.
Eso de durar y transcurrir
no nos da derecho a presumir,
porque no es lo mismo que vivir honrar la vida.

No.
Permanecer y transcurrir
no siempre quiere sugerir honrar la vida.
Hay tanta pequeña vanidad
en nuestra tonta humanidad enceguecida.

Merecer la vida es erguirse vertical
más allá del mal, de las caídas.
Es igual que darle a la verdad
y a nuestra propia libertad la bienvenida.
Eso de durar y transcurrir
no nos da derecho a presumir
porque no es lo mismo que vivir honrar la vida.

아니야
살아가는 거, 시간을 보내는 거
그건 견디는 것도, 존재하는 것도, 삶을 존중하는 것도 아냐
살고는 있지만 존재하지 않는 길이 얼마나 많아
안다고는 하지만 잠들어 있는 무지한 인식이 얼마나 많아

삶의 가치는 조용히 있는 게 아냐
반복되는 불의를 바라보는 것도 아냐
삶은 미덕이고 존엄이야
그리고 정체에 대한 가장 명확한 자세야
많은 것을 겪고 세월을 보냈다고 해서
자만할 권리가 있는 게 아냐
산다는 것과 삶을 존중하는 것은 다르기 때문이야

아니야.
살아지는 거, 시간을 넘기는 거
그건 삶을 존중한다는 의미가 아냐
바보같은 우리 인류가 눈이 멀어
쌓아 온 작은 교만이 얼마나 많아

삶의 가치는 악과 넘어짐을 너머
바로 서는 거야
진리와 우리 자신의 자유를
환영하는 것과 같은 거야
많은 것을 겪고 세월을 보냈다고 해서
자만할 권리가 있는 게 아냐
산다는 것과 삶을 존중하는 것은 다르기 때문이야

-------------------------------------------------------

아무 것도 배우지 않고 살 수 있다. 잠잠히, 가만히, 풍경에 붓질하지 않고 이 지구에 지탱할 수 있다. 죽은 것도 아닌 사는 것도 아닌 상태에서 그 누구도, 그 무엇도 사랑하지 않으면서 고통 없이 존재할 수 있다. 난 반대 쪽의 길에 내 인생 전부를 걸기로 했다. 잃는 것이 얻는 것보다 더 많든, 눈물의 폭풍이 웃음의 바다를 덮어버리든, 완전한 죽음이 찾아오기 전에 완전한 삶을 가지기로 결심했다.

Case Presentation: Daimler-Chysler Merger

2009-02-19T01:38:00.027+09:00

Happily ever after?

The marriage of these two companies seemed to be the success of the century. Both with solid sales volume and brand equity, their union would imply a boom in the car industry.The whole world had great expectations from them. Of course there had been worries because of their different cultures, interests and backgrounds, but these were too small compared to the gains they would bring to each other. So, it only took less than a year to reach the ever lasting contract. Unfortunately or not, marriage between companies that so much differed ended up in a divorce after 9 unsuccessful years.

Putting this business case at a personal level, a presenter learned about the implications of the so called international marriage that she had considered in order to open up her possibilities of finding Mr. Right. Efforts to maintain such a controversial relationship, I mean, controversial at least to many Koreans, would not balance the gains of being together. Or the opportunity costs of marring a foreigner could be higher than the benefits the partner would bring. Or the comforts of similarities are larger than the excitements of the unknown world.

In other words, it is a quite risk. So if marriage is supposed to mean settling down, taking risks would contradict its purpose, especially when it comes to the 'I will love you forever no matter what' vow.

But it would be nice to find someone worth of taking whatever the risks, right? Or even better would be to be loved in such a way because deep inside we know all the flaws we have.

Merging or acquiring? Being merged or acquired? Doesn't matter.

Back to the business case, the real purpose of the deal was the acquisition of Chrysler by Daimler Benz, although the official announcement was the so called merger of equals. But this is not a very important factor when assessing the success of the union. What the case presenters concluded was the inexistence of post merger integration which had caused such a failure.

Also in real life, whether a marriage is a merger or an acquisition, or whether the balance sheet of gains and losses is not that well-balanced, doesn't matter. What is important is the post integration management. Intentions of taking over, indifference, or the transfer of responsibilities to the partner is a direct route to failure. Melting and molding are necessary to build a solid relationship.This restructuring of both parties is certainly painful, but we all know that once we mold to each other the success of the union will come as a matter of course.

Just like in any M&As, success of a marriage should be assessed not at the decision moment of the seemingly perfect match, but when we actually see the melting and the molding of the agreement become a real union.

It's crucial to find the one that matches with oneself. Still, restructuring is required and we all know that. The key issue here is whether we have the willingness to painfully melt and mold ourselves to the one we are committing the rest of our valuable lives to.

Perhaps it is my lack of that willingness that has kept me single until today. Perhaps it is my naivety (or lazyness) that still dreams of a perfect match, unnecessary of such an arduous process. Perhaps these are just coward excuses.

¡Español!

2009-02-15T17:11:00.010+09:00

Por fin he puesto en práctica lo que había propuesto hace una década. Sí. Sí. Sí. ¡El teclado en castellano ya está en funcionamiento! La verdad que es una agradable sensación esto de poder escribir oraciones adecuadas y seguir las reglas ortográficas como el digno castellano se merece. Me costará adaptarme y adquirir velocidad al tipear. Pero como estoy en un período de perseverancia absoluta, no me costará tanto. Bueno, eso espero.

Ya tengo el pelo bastante largo y, como algunos de ustedes podrán imaginar, bastante deprolijo. Últimamente muchos me están diciendo que les había gustado mi antiguo corte (ver foto). Y cada vez que me veo al espejo sin poder controlar los cachos de cabello que libremente vascilan en el aire, muchas ganas de deshacerme de ellos tengo.

¿Qué dicen? Ahora que empieza la primavera y que he decidido a reempezar con muchas cosas de mi vida como mi nuevo hogar en uno de los barrios más precarios de Seúl, como el nuevo sistema en la academia de inglés, como el nuevo semestre en el máster, o como la nueva meta de adelgazar cinco kilos antes del verano, no estaría mal darle un look nuevo a mi estilo. Además un poco estética viene bien al ego. Eso sí, no sé si tengo la valentía suficiente de desarraigar una parte mía que con tanto sufrimiento aguanté durante casi un año.

Vamos a ver que decisión tomo.

A strange day

2009-02-13T11:51:00.033+09:00

Calmness after torment

I cannot tell which wind woke me up this morning. Maybe it was the wind that has kept my dreams noisy last few weeks, or it was from the 2009's first spring shower. But what was real is that the wind was so strong that its hitting sounds on the window woke me up earlier than what I had proposed.
The weather was a lot warmer than a usual rainy day. It was rather windy. Yes...today was a very windy and somewhat rainy day. Strangely, it exactly represented my emotional, spiritual and physical status. I hope tomorrow the winds will go away leaving peaceful tranquility behind.

Unknown truth

On my way to work, I was looking at the calm gray sky that contrasted with rough winds and busy streets of Seoul. As it slowly started to rain, I said "Now it's raining" while simultaneously my friend said "Here it's raining". It was then when I paused just to think about what had happened. Was that the moment it rained? Or was it the place? Interesting. Same phenomenon, different reactions, and unknown truth. Will the truth unveil itself once we leave the earth and reach the universe beyond this? What would it be if we actually overcame our time and space limitations?

Time and space

Life seems to be a continuous battle, battle to catch the time we will never reach, battle to widen the space we will never conquer. Sadly to many, life seems to end up being a regret, regret of not having enjoyed the now and the here, the only time and space under our control. Still, our spirits long for what is beyond the present. Maybe it's because the now and the here are not as joyful as we wish. Maybe it's because we believe that what is beyond is better, full of meaning, full of happiness.

Strangely, we all know by our instincts that it's not necessary to do beyond to be beyond. We know that a way, not to say the only way, to fully enjoy the now and the here while still being in the present is to love.

Love is the beginning of understanding the truth, the very cause of our existence, the divine purpose of our lives. Love is absence and fullness of time; love embraces infinite space. Everything is meaningful when we love; and everything is meaningless.

When we love, we are just beyond everything.

More strangely, we often forget it.
And many times, consciuously.

My first strip

2009-02-08T20:52:00.007+09:00

It was last September when I started to make an animation, but it required more time than I could offer. So, I've decided to conform myself to this inanimated comic strip. Just trying to train the right side of my brains and wake my creativity up if it has ever existed.

오늘은 어제 죽은 내가 그토록 기다리던 내일

2009-02-07T17:49:00.010+09:00

적은 금액이라고 불평하던 월급은 엄청쓰고
쥐꼬리만하게 모아둔 돈을 불려보겠다고
욕심 부리고 잔머리 굴린 내 머릿속에 맴도는 것은
일용한 양식은 다름이 아닌 땀 흘린 노동으로부터다라는 창조질서.

열심히 하면 되고 하늘은 스스로를 돕는 자를 돕는다라는 생각으로
새로운 것에 늘 부딪혀 보는 용감한 내 마음이 기억하는 것은
애써도 안 될 수 있으며 이것도 하늘의 도움임이라 받아드리는 겸손.

굴복하지 않고 모든 것을 이기는 것이 능력인 줄 알고
지금은 남에게 의지하지는 것이 두렵고 어색할 정도로
혼자서 씩씩하게 살아온 내 30년의 인생이 깨닫는 것은
완전한 굴복과 완전한 의존이 창조주를 인정하는 지혜.

큰 성공을 거두어야 한다라는 부담과 책임으로 늘 무언가를 이루고자
목표 뒤에 새로운 목표를 지향하며 뛴 지친 내 발이 느끼는 것은
진정한 기쁨과 휴식은 성공의 영광이 아니라 아이들의 환한 웃음.

여태 뭐하며 살았나 싶을 정도로 헛 산 것 같지만

그래도,,,

창조질서를 따를 수 있는 노동력이 아직 나에게 있다는 거.
아직은 완전히 굴복하고 완전히 의존 못해도
신실하신 아버지는 기다리신다는 거.
나의 하루를 밝히고, 내 마음의 평안과 기쁨을 배로 하는
아이들의 웃음이 있다는 거.
포기 못해 꼭 쥐고 있던 것마저 도망가고 맘대로 되는 게 없어
내 손아귀에서 모든 것이 벗어나 지금은 빈손이 되어버렸지만,
그렇기 때문에 더 자유로울 수 있을 거라는 생각에 흐뭇해 한다는 거.

매일 매일 새롭게 솟아오르는 태양이 있어 감사하다는 거.

Fractions

2009-02-04T17:59:00.014+09:00

Me:"Alex, before you multiply fractions,
you should always remember to simplify them first."
Alex: "But it's the same whether I simplify first or later."
Me: "Yes, but when it comes to bigger numbers,
if you simplify first, it's gonna be easier for you."
Alex: "I know, I know. Tomorrow will be a better day than today."
Me: "What?"
Alex: "Tomorrow will be better and happier than today."
Me: "..."

Just out of nothing - well... I guess it is not out of nothing.

That was the reply the ten-year-old boy made when I had told him to simplify the problems before working on them. I did not insist he give me the reason why he had said so because I knew he wouldn't provide any further bothersome explanation about an obvious truth.

Later that evening I asked myself when had been the last time I tried to keep myself simple, leaving behind all the small worries that were making huge traffic jams in my head. And then I remembered that what is in my mind is product of my decisions. So I decided to clean it up and put everything in order. At least now it looks better and I feel simpler and lighter.

My long forgotten favorite phrase from Gone with the wind pops up in my head: "After all... tomorrow is another day." Now I guess I have to replace it for a more hopeful and insightful quote from Alexander.

"Tomorrow will be a better day than today."

Titina, Lina, esto es para ustedes

2009-02-03T10:10:00.004+09:00

Como se que estan estudiando chino, a ver si descifran esto.
Lo dijo nuestro respetado senyor Confucio.

生而知之者上也
學而知之者次也
困而學之又其次也
困而不學民斯爲下矣

Besotes.

El dia que me quieras - Carlos Gardel

2009-02-03T07:23:00.002+09:00

Acaricia mi ensueño el suave murmullo de tu suspirar.
Cómo ríe la vida si tus ojos negros me quieren mirar.
Y si es mío el amparo de tu risa leve que es como un cantar,
ella aquieta mi herida, todo todo se olvida.

El día que me quieras la rosa que engalana
se vestirá de fiesta con su mejor color.
Y al viento las campanas dirán que ya eres mía,
y locas las fontanas se contarán su amor.

La noche que me quieras desde el azul del cielo,
las estrellas celosas nos mirarán pasar.
Y un rayo misterioso hará nido en tu pelo,
luciérnaga curiosa que verás que eres mi consuelo.

El día que me quieras no habrá más que armonía.
Será clara la aurora y alegre el manantial.
Traerá quieta la brisa rumor de melodía.
Y nos darán las fuentes su canto de cristal.

El día que me quieras endulzarán sus cuerdas el pájaro cantor.
Florecerá la vida, no existirá el dolor.

땅끝까지 이르러 내 증인이 되리라.

2009-02-02T08:55:00.005+09:00

부르짖으셨는데, 기억하라고 하셨는데
나는 귀를 막고 입을 막았습니다.
수 차례 들렸는데 나는 귀찮아 했습니다.

이제 와 후회하고 고치려고 한들 무슨 소용이 있습니까.
불완전한 과거와 화해하며 고치지 않은 채
그대로 받아드리는 것도 이젠 지쳤습니다.
상처주고 상처받은, 오해주고 오해받은 자기 자신을 용서하고,
있는 모습 그대로 받아드려야 하는 용기도 이젠 힘듭니다.

이젠 인도하시는 이 길을 잠잠히 걸어갑니다.
오직 이 길이 나의 영혼을 평안하게 하기 때문입니다.
평탄하지도 않고, 내 뜻대로 되지 않지만,
눈물도 많고, 고통도 있지만
내 뜻을 부인하는 것이, 당신을 인정하는 것이 더욱 값지다는 것을,
당신 뜻에 순종하는 것이 나의 사명임을 알기 때문에 걸어갑니다.

잡념과 혼란과 시끄러움 속에서도
내 영혼을 고요히 지키겠습니다.
잠잠히 내 눈과 귀와 마음을 열겠습니다.

기억하겠습니다. 난 당신 것임을.
기억하겠습니다. 땅끝까지 이르겠다는 나의 약속을.
기억하겠습니다. 그 땅끝이 여기임을.

가지 않은 길 - Robert Frost

2009-01-31T12:02:00.001+09:00

"전 40평생의 아주 많은 시간을 노란 숲 속의 두갈래 길 중 내가 선택하지 않은 길에 대한 궁금함을 가지고 살아 왔습니다. 이랬으면 어땠을까, 저랬으면 어땠을까.. 궁금증은 아쉬움을 낳고, 아쉬움은 부러움을 낳고, 부러움은 시기와 질투를 불러 들여 제 마음을 꽉 채웠습니다.

믿음이 생기고 달라진 것 중 하나는 "내가 선택하지 않은 길"에 대한 궁금함과 아쉬움이 사라진 것 입니다. 조금 사라진 것이 아니라 전부 사라졌습니다.

지금 내 앞에 두 갈래가 아니라 백 갈래 길이 놓여 있더라도 더 이상 궁금하지 않습니다. 왜냐하면, 내가 지금 가고 있는 길이 옳은 길이라는 확신이 생겼기 때문입니다.

이 길로 가는 여행은 참으로 기쁜 여행입니다. 동행하는 사람들이 많아지면 많아질 수록 더욱 기쁜 여행입니다. 지금 가고 있는 길이 끝나는 곳에서 누가 기다리고 있는 지 알고 있기 때문입니다."

----------

앞만 보겠습니다.
설령 보이지 않더라도 믿고 나아겠습니다.

Es por esto que te aprecio

2009-01-29T12:40:00.002+09:00

역사를 모르면 어떤 폐단이 생길까?
http://news.joins.com/article/3472380.html?ctg=1200

3대 언론이라지만 수준은 찌라시 정도인 중앙일보에 메인을 올라온 기사다. 우리 한 번 생각해 보자.

1) "한민족 DNA에는 전사의 기질이 남아있다."
조만간 인간도 복제할지 모르는 21세기다. 소위 인종 간의 DNA 차이는 껍대기에 불과하고 우리가 일반적으로 알고 있는 '국민성'도 문화의 일부분이라는 게 명백한 사실. 문화는 사회적으로 형성된 요소이며 따라서 타고타는 것이 아니라 끝임 없이 외부로부터 주입되는 것인데 쓰레기 같은 기자는 '한민족 DNA'로 치부함으로써 개념 없는 독자들을 선동하고 있는 것.

2) “한국은 하나의 큰 가정과 같이 온 국민이 나라 일을 자신의 집안일처럼 여긴다.”
애국심이 근대국가 및 자본주의의 발전과 함께 피지배층을 통제하기 위한 상위구조의 수단이라는 것이 이미 밝혀진 사실.

3) "너도나도 차를 사던 ‘마이카 열풍’도, 비싼 휴대전화 척척 바꿔대는 소비행태도 비교적 균등한 소득수준 덕분"
웃기지 마라. 균등한 소득 이전에 문화적으로 조성된 거다. 기업들이 연예인들 총동원해서 소비자를 현혹하고 소비자들은 이런 미끼를 덥석물었을 뿐.

4) "말을 달리던 북방 유목민족처럼 우리도 역동적 기질을 타고난 민족이다."
불과 100년 전만 해도 지질하게 가난하던 농경사회였고 역사적으로 중국의 무슨 역동적인 기질을 타고 났다는 거야? 그나마 한국인의 '역동성'이란 근대화 과정에서 부산물처럼 생긴 열등의식과 세계시장의 변화에 심하게 노출된 수출지향산업이 가져오는 똥줄타는 조바심이지. 하여간 주류언론과 그 독자들의 수준이 이 정도야. 지극히 비과학적이며 비논리적. 산업혁명/프랑스혁명 이후의 제국주의, 자본주의의 확립, 냉전구도 등을 깡그리 무시하니까 이런 황색 언론이 판을 치는 거지. 이래서 사학자들이 필요한 건데 지배계층에겐 돈이 안되니까.. ㅎㅎ

..........................

경제가 이후로는 어떻게 될지 아무도 모르는 일 아니겠어?
FT, WSJ, NYT, 조중동만 봐도 지들이 무슨 소리를 하고 있는 건지도 몰라. 이건 진짜 생쇼 같아. ㅎㅎ 좌파학자들도 자본주의의 위기에 대한 입장은 있어도 자본이 어떻게 대처할지는 모르잖아. 누군가가 (지금보다 더) 크게 피를 볼 텐데.. 결과적으로 가진 자보다 없는 자가 손해 보는 장사겠지. 내가 개인적으로 생각하는 것은 금융으로 손해 본 것을 어떻게 금융으로 되찾을 것이냐 보다는 앞으로 어떻게 저축할 것인가가 더 중요한 거 같아.

친구 아버지가 계신데 이 양반이 평생을 전기기술자로 사셨어. 우여곡절 가운데 가난하지도 않지만 부유하지도 않게, 그냥 검소하게 열심히 일하면서 사는 분이야. 워낙 경력이 오래돼서 이 바닥을 잘 알고 있으니까 예전에 주변에서 차라리 직원을 고용해서 작은 회사를 차리고 공사를 따내면 돈을 벌라고 권유했나봐. 그랬다면 분명 이 아저씨 집안은 꽤 잘 살았을 거야. 하지만 며칠 고민한 끝에 단호하게 '프리랜서'로 남겠다는 결정을 내리셨어. 왜? 회사를 차리면 필히 직원들이 창출해 내는 잉여가치를 당신이 가로채 부자가 될 거니까. 그럴 바엔 차라리 가난하더라도 그냥 계속 그렇게 일하겠다는 거지. 일반적인 '상식'으로는 매우 '바보'같은 생각일지도 몰라. 하지만 한 번 쯤은 생각해 볼 만한 문제인 거 같아. 왜냐하면 말이 좋아서 '고용창출', '투자', '사업수단'이지 그 내면은 항상 다른 법이잖아. 물질이 모든 것을 좌지우지하는 패러다임에는 안 통하지만 꼼꼼히 생각해 보면 자본은 선한 것이 아니라 덜 악하거나 혹은 매우 악한 것 같아. 그 배경에 욕심 많은 '인간'이 버티고 있는 이상 말이야.

-from 책을 읽다보니 어느 순간 아침이라서 한숨도 못자고 횡설수설 중인 김성현-

Perspective

2009-01-28T01:17:00.003+09:00

Not every thing needs to be the way we think it should.

Not every thing works out in the way we plan.

But every thing will be fine. It has been always like that.

Make up your own story

2009-01-27T00:11:00.006+09:00

You are the one that makes the stories.
And all depends on from which angle you see.
It will be confusing if you change your angles too often.
It will be pathetic if you stick to a wrong one.
Important it is to be consistent with the right angle.
Yes, because there is the right angle that your sacred story deserves to be taken from. Because I believe there is an angle from which your story will ever shine.

As I said to you, life is hard but I am not unhappy.
And I do believe this hard training of being joyful no matter the circumstances will win over the uncomfortable and stressful details of everyday life.

Happy new year!
Happy no matter the circumstances!

Stomaches, headaches, y mucho mas...

2009-01-22T01:09:00.005+09:00

Uno despues del otro. Uno por semana.
Quizas deba estar agradecida por no haber tenido los dos en un mismo intervalo.
Pero, bueno.
Me la busque y de momento, es aguantable.
Todo se aguanta. Todo se supera.
Todo esto se hace mas facil y mas grato
cada vez que veo a mis felices cachorritos aprendiendo el ingles.

Que vendra la semana proxima?
Y que habra en las siguientes?

A la espera de buenas noticias.

Genesis

2009-01-01T20:31:00.000+09:00

1. 태초에 하나님께서 천지를 창조하셨습니다. 그래서 오늘도 나는 어디에 있든 두려워하지 않을 것입니다. 내가 하늘에 있든, 바다 위에 있든, 땅속에 있든, 바로 그곳에 천지를 창조하신 하나님께서 나와 함께 계실 것이기 때문입니다.

2. 태초에 하나님께서 천지를 창조하셨습니다. 그래서 오늘도 나는 어떤 상황을 만나든 흔들리지 않을 것입니다. 나의 계획이 무산되고, 뜻이 꺾어지며, 결과가 나의 예상에서 빗나가도, 천지를 창조하신 하나님께서 내가 상상조차 못한 당신의 선하신 뜻을 이루실 것이기 때문입니다.

3. 태초에 하나님께서 천지를 창조하셨습니다. 이 말씀을 믿지 않는다면, 나는 진화된 원숭이일 수밖에 없습니다. 그러나 아무리 생각해도 내가 원숭이의 후예로 살 수는 없습니다. 더욱이 사랑하는 내 자식을 원숭이의 후예로 만들 수는 더더욱 없습니다. 나는 오늘도 사람으로 살기 위해, 나를 사람으로 창조하신 하나님을 나의 하나님으로 모십니다.

4. 태초에 하나님께서 천지를 창조하셨습니다. 그 하나님께서는 말씀이셨고, 말씀으로 천지와 나를 창조하셨습니다(요1:1-3). 그래서 오늘도 나는 하나님의 말씀을 좇아 살아갑니다. 말씀으로 나를 창조하신 하나님의 말씀은, 나를 위한 인생사용설명서임을 알기 때문입니다. 인생은 결코 오리무중이 아닙니다. 인생사용설명서를 좇아 사는 인생은 백주의 대로와도 같습니다.

5. 태초에 하나님께서 천지를 창조하셨습니다. 그 하나님께서는 말씀이셨고, 말씀으로 천지와 나를 창조하셨습니다. 그 말씀이 육신을 입고 이 땅에 오신 분이 예수 그리스도셨습니다(요1:14). 그래서 나는 오늘도 그분을 내 인생의 주인으로 모시고 그리스도인으로 살아갈 것입니다. 그분은 내 인생의 길잡이가 되어주시기 위해 내게 임하신 임마누엘 하나님이시기 때문입니다.

천지를 창조하신 하나님의 말씀으로 나의 삶을 날로 새롭게 창조하여 주십시오. 창세기 1장 1절로부터 시작되는 나의 인생여정이 일평생, 천지를 창조하신 하나님과의 동행이 되게 해주십시오. 아멘.

< 이재철 목사님 >

It goes on

2008-12-24T20:05:00.007+09:00

2008 comes to its end. I am here without being able to get away with all the pains and regrets that it has marked on me. They are deeply here and strangely don't go away along with this year. There is no other solution than to just embrace them hoping that time will cure and that I will get over. That my forgetful memory will bury them. That miracles will happen. And... that I will grow. I do hope I will grow out of this painful maturity process.

2009 is around the corner. But I am not sure whether I am happily welcoming it as everyone wishes me. It's rather a feeling of fear. Fear of not being able to fill the empty spaces that many receive with big hopes. Fear of filling them with the same and/or different wrong colors and patterns. But even with cautious and thoughtful attitudes, I know I will fill them with whatevers, whenevers , wherevers and howevers. There is no rationality in passions, explorations and emotions. Life has been always like that. It never waits for my rational decisions and always lures me with new universes and new encounters.

Those whatevers, whenevers, wherevers and howevers may work out just fine. Or they may end up in desasters. Thankfully, not every thing needs to be fixed. I have learned to grow out of my imperfections. This is the reason why life is beautiful. It does not judge over what I have done but over what I have become into. So, my new year’s resolution is not about what, when, where or how. It’s about becoming more me, trying not to be regarded as whoever to you, to them and mostly, to myself.

Bienvenidos mosquitos!

2008-12-17T15:57:00.006+09:00

Ya ha llegado la hora de que me defienda del frio de Seul. Y para minimizar mis sufrimientos, yo ya empece a usar mis 'hot patches'. Son pedazotes de stickers que pego en mi ropa interior y que inmediatamente mantienen mi temperatura corporal a niveles agradables. Yo los pego en las plantas de mis pies. Una vez calentitos, puedo salir a pasear por mas de 14 horas sin que se me congelen. Hay varias marcas, pero como siempre, los productos de nuestro vecino Japon son los mejores. Ofrecen consistente temperatura y larga durabilidad. Los nuestros estan disenyados para los consumidores que quieren algo intenso y compacto. Casi te queman la epidermis. Quizas que por eso que no duran. Porque si durasen como los japoneses, te quemarias hasta los musculos.

Si si si. Asi de frio hace aqui.
Y por eso estoy averiguando formas de sobrevivir el futuro terror de enero. Si! Mas hot patch!
Seguro que por internet los consigo a bajo precio.

Lo curioso es que mientras gente como yo trata de superar los desafios de la naturaleza, hay mosquitos que panchamente vuelan en mi casa, en mi instituto, e incluso, en los subtes. Hoy ya vi dos bien grandes vagabundeando en el vagon. Estamos en pleno diciembre y ya paso la hora de que los mosquitos esten fermentandose, pero parece que no. Parece que estos bichos han pasado por mutaciones que les permitieron disfrutar de la longetividad.

Habia supuesto que los unicos animales que no estaban en peligro de extincion y que, es mas, a lo largo de los anyos habian adquirido postergar la muerte, eramos los seres humanos. Parece que estaba equivocada. Pues si, tenemos companyia.

Young@heart

2008-12-14T03:05:00.004+09:00

Couple of days ago, I had a chance to watch a documental movie about a rock choir composed of senior citizens from New Hampshire, Massachusetts. They were all in their 70’s, 80’s and even in their 90’s. Some lived by themselves, others with their spouses. Some were healthy for being at that age, others went to intensive care units too often. But they all were happy, joyful, and enthusiastic. I could tell that by their rigid smiles and smiling wrinkles. I could tell that by their slow but funny movements.

What impressed me the most was not their age nor their ability to sing speedy raps and high tone loud rock- though they were surprisingly amazing. It was their passion and love for life that overwhelmed my emotions. I could hear the fire of their passion in every trembling sound coming out their lips. I could feel their love and appreciation for every second of life in their eyes.

They said it was music that transcended their physical age; it was music that dragged them into a whole new world. And I knew that what they were saying was real because I also shared this new universe of passion and thankfulness throughout the movie. Many questions popped up in my mind. What fires my passion? Where should I project my passion? What is the thing that completely frees my spirit? What leads me to a wholly new dimension of life? What makes them so young? What makes me young?

Tonight I just want to listen to music. I want my thoughts, my spirit, and my emotions to just be there, in the space of sounds, in the time of melodies, in a world that transcends the now and the here.

과학과 기술과 인간의 미래

2008-12-10T16:05:00.003+09:00

불과 몇 개월 전까지만 해도 전세계 사람들은 모두 투자은행의 위력에 감탄을 했었다. 전 세계는 투자은행의 거래에 좌지우지 되는 것만 같았고 이 업계에 커리어를 쌓는 것이 청년들의 로망이 되었다. 이 곳에서 활동하는 직원들의 두뇌는 형언할 수 못할 만큼 뛰어난 것 같았고 지식과 기술력으로 돈을 부풀려가던 그들의 능력이 부러울 따름이었다.

그러나 지금 우리는 부를 창조하는 테크닉이 더 이상 유용하지 않다는 것을 뼈저리게 느끼고 있다. 몇만 키로 떨어진 미국에서 발생한 모기지 문제가 방안에 가만히 앉아 있는 나의 부의 가치를 반토막 낸 것이다. 기술을 통한 실존하지 않은 돈을 창조하는 것이 한계가 있음을 알게 되었다. 그렇다. 기술과 지식이 부를 한없이 만들어 낼 수 있다라는 기대와 자만의 엔트로피가 더 이상 버틸 수 없는 한계에 왔고, 이번 사태는 엔트로피를 한 번 낮추는 계기가 되었다. 이젠 중요한 것은 보이지 않는 현란한 기법이 아닌 현존하는 돈임을 깨닫게 되었다.

기술이라는 것은 우리 사회에 많은 발전과 성숙을 가져다 주었다. 그렇기 때문에 우리는 자칫 기술이 가치중립적이지 때문에 사람의 의식만 바르면 좋은 사회로 더욱 발전할 수 있을 것이라 믿는다. 하지만 기술이 진정 가치중립적인지 다시 한번 고민하고 싶다.

기술이 과학으로부터 왔다고 하니 과학에 대해서 생각해 보자. 자연과학이란 자연의 법칙을 탐구하고 그 법칙을 발견하고자 노력하는 학문이며 인문사회과학 또한 인간관계의 법칙을 연구하는 학문이다. 과학이 발견한 법칙을 따라 우리는 여러 가지 기술을 창조해 간다. 여기서 중요한 것은 '법칙을 따라'이다. 우리가 개발하고 사용하는 기술은 우리가 탐구하고 진실이다고 믿는 법칙과 섭리를 따라야 하는 것이다.

모기지 사태를 예로 들자면, 자원이라고 말할 수 있는 부는 노동으로 생산되는 것이 인류사의 법칙이다. 그러나 우리는 이러한 섭리를 무시한 채 보이지 않는 부의 버블만 만드는 기술을 신봉했었다. 섭리에 거슬리는 즉 '거짓'의 엔트로피를 증가시키는 기술과 이를 사용하는 인류는
이번 경제난에서 본 바와 같이 그 대가를 반드시 치른다고 판단된다.

기술은 가치중립적이기 때문에 우리 인류가 가치 있게 잘 사용하자라는 위험성 있는 논리가 아닌 자연과 인류의 법칙과 섭리를 따르는 기술인지 아닌지의 판단이 선행되어야 한다고 믿는다.
그렇지 않은 기술은 중단되어야 한다. 불필요하게 엔트로피를 증가시킬 필요가 없다. 증가되는 엔트로피가 없어지는 아픈 과정에서 우리 인류가 반성하고 학습을 하는 과정 물론 나쁘지만 않지만...

나는 특히 요즘 대두되고 있는 유전자 기술, 인터넷 정보화 기술에 대해서 주의를 기울렸으면 한다. 어떤 부분이 섭리에 합당하며 어긋나는지에 관하여 철저한 과학 정신을 가지고 기술이 개발되었으면 하는 바램이다. 과학자들과 기술자들이 발전시키고자 하는 기술에 대한 깊은 성찰과 올바른 판단력이 없는 한, 즉 보편적인 진리를 탐구하는 정신을 가지지 않은 한 우리 인류는 필요 없는 엔트로피의 증가와 붕괴의 고통 속에서 아파하고, 고민하고, 불신할 것이다.

그러나 앞서 기술한 것처럼 이것이 그리 나쁘지만은 않다. 인류는 그러한 고통 속에서 보편적 진리와 섭리에 충실한 새로운 패러다임을 창조할 것이며 새 출발에 대하여 희망을 또한 갖게 되지 않을까라는 생각을 하게 된다.

To you my sincere blessings

2008-12-10T00:29:00.002+09:00

Forever Young, by Neil Young

May God bless and keep you always,
May your wishes all come true,
May you always do for others
And let others do for you.
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung,
May you stay forever young,
Forever young, forever young,
May you stay forever young.

May you grow up to be righteous,
May you grow up to be true,
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you.
May you always be courageous,
Stand upright and be strong,
May you stay forever young,
Forever young, forever young,
May you stay forever young.

May your hands always be busy,
May your feet always be swift,
May you build a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift.
May your heart always be joyful,
May your song always be sung,
May you stay forever young,
Forever young, forever young,
May you stay forever young.

Hard Times

2008-12-09T00:20:00.007+09:00

Waiting seems meaningless but is really meaningful. They say.
Meaningless relationships give meaningful wisdoms. They say.
We only have to wait until we bear fruits, until we are cured.
We should never regret, never frustrate.
We don't need to understand; we have to accept, wait, and hope. They say.

And now I say: It's easy to say.

But there is no choice but to believe in Him
Who will make a way where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
God will be my guide, hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
By a roadway in the wilderness, He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
He will do something new today.

Four Types of Life

2008-12-07T00:27:00.009+09:00

Up to now, I thought that there were two kinds of life: risk taker type and risk averse type. Now I got to know there are four.

- High risk - High return
- High risk - Low return
- Low risk - High return
- Low risk - Low return

If I just consider my former dichotomic analysis I would rather choose high risk. I simply believe life is full of new universes worth of being explored no matter the costs. I love challenge and courage is a virtue I want to exercise throughout my life.

But today I thought that my dichotomic view on life was too naive and too romantic about the results of being a risk taker. The worst case would be a high risk-low return life where I would end up losing many things, while the smartest one would be a low risk-high return life where in spite of a secure, and probalby boring process, I would be highly enjoying the results. Another option is a high risk-high return life where I can enjoy both the process and the results. This rationale made me think how I could possibly design a well balanced life of low risk-high returns and high risk-high returns. Eventually it led me to wonder whether there was a strategy for that kind of life. After hours of thinking and rethinking, I reached to the conclusion that well, there should be...

My next assignment is to figure it out.

Elasticity

2008-12-03T11:39:00.018+09:00

I am taking Managerial Economics, a course that I had thought it would be really interesting and intellectually challenging. In fact, it turned out to be surprising. Surprisingly boring and reality lacking. However, I have to admit I have learned quite many things from the extremely fast paced and content-less lectures.

Elasticity is the word that most strongly remains in my brain. It is because it made me think about how elastic I was in certain areas and because it made me feel nervous each time the professor pronounced the word in a weird accent.

Elasticity is what managers should know when making decisions.
Elasticity is what I have to take into consideration when taking actions. I realized it is deeply related to the maturity level I can potentially reach.

My interest level in a person is highly elastic to his/her intelligence coefficient level.
-> Bear in mind that not so smart people can also be interesting.

My temper is elastic to the time I feel I've lost.
-> Take it easy. Being slow is not always bad.

My ambition is elastic to unexplored new worlds.
-> Stay focused. Don't forget the high qualities of the in-depthness.

My intolerance level is elastic to boredom.
-> Be wiser and try to find the insights latent in it.

My body metabolism is very inelastic to the energy consumed.
-> Watch out what and how much you are inserting into your mouth.

To Jiwan

2008-11-29T18:50:00.009+09:00

아름답고 순결한 너의 모습에서

우리 하나님 형상을 보네

아직 작고 연약한 너의 모습에서

크신 하나님의 사랑을 보네

우리에게 너를 통해 보이시는

우릴 향한 하나님의 사랑

앞으로 네가 자라는 만큼 나도 자라가겠지

그 분께로 그 분의 끝없는 사랑으로

너를 사랑해 영원토록

--------------------------------------------------------

지완아!!!
이모 소원의 노트에는 지완이 이름이 많이 나와.
너가 아직 뱃속에 있을 때는 많이 쓰다듬어 줬었는데,
지금은 넘 넘 넘 널 만지고, 안아주고, 뽀뽀해주고 싶어.

너의 웃는 모습, 너의 멍한 모습, 너의 귀찮아 해하는 모습...
왜이리 사랑스럽고 귀엽니?
깨물어주고 싶어~

우리 곧 보자!!! 오늘도 화이팅!!!

Life is beautiful

2008-11-29T15:34:00.004+09:00

Life is beautiful
because the sunshines of every morning
are the new hopes I live with.

Life is beautiful
because my distorted memory
beautifies my past sorrows;
because my partial memory
only remembers my happy yesterdays.

Life is beautiful
because the air I breathe
is the passion that builds my tomorrow.

Life is beautiful
because even I am alone in this journey,
I know we are together.

Sustainability

2008-11-26T21:02:00.009+09:00

Sustain = from Latin sustinēre
Sus: under, below Tain: have, be, take
what you have as a base
hold back, support, foundational, continuing

The word sustainability seems to be currently on fashion.
Businesses, governments, academia and great number
of other organizations envision and pursue it,
believing that this will perpetuate their existence
as if perpetuity has been always optimal.

It would be optimal in the sense that
we can fulfill our innate ambition of wanting to leave legacies.
It would be optimal in the sense that
we can have something eternal
since we feel the meaninglessness of living an ephemeral life.

Personally I think that trying to live legacies is simply wasting our ephimeral time and testing our level of arrogance and greed. We are definitely naive when we think we will be remembered. We believe we ourselves will care for what we will have left on earth when death knocks our doors. Curiously, that is not true.

I believe real sustainability is not
about stretching the dimensions of time and value.
It’s about fulfilling the abundance of today.
It’s about letting plenitude flow into neighboring surroundings now.

Maybe it will last longer. Maybe it will value greater.
Or maybe not. But does that matter?

After all, we leave the earth plainly naked
just in the same way as we came.
And what history may judge will become irrelevant, completely irrelevant, when we are already prized in our next lives.

What's in your mind?

2008-11-25T11:09:00.003+09:00

"You are today where your thoughts have brought you;
you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you."
- James Allen

Explore the universe of your mind and imagination.
You will face an eternity of precious thoughts
and an infinite world of blackness...
This introspective exploration will confuse you,
but be wise and brave when you choose.
Because tomorrow, when you retrospect it,
you will realize that life is no more than simply loyal to celestial laws.

Weird combination: 놀부와 대장금

2008-11-24T00:54:00.005+09:00

Donde estas, mi medio naranja?
Te llamo, me encuentras.
Te llamo de nuevo y te pierdo.
Te busco pero desapereces.
Te olvido, sin embargo te quedas.

Ethics

2008-11-21T14:52:00.002+09:00

나의 하나하나의 행동이 윤리적이어야 한다라는
교육은 어릴 때부터 받아왔다.
그렇기 때문에 무엇이 옳고 그른지에 대한 판단은
수 없이 훈련 해왔고 지금도 어떠한 상황이나 행동을 할 때
나만의 잣대로 평가한다.
30년의 세월 동안 길러온 그 잣대로 난 오늘도
나와 남의 언행을 판단하고 심지어 비판해 버린다.

어느 날 난 다른 사람, 다른 문화권에서의 잣대는
나의 잣대와 다르다라는 것을 알게 된다.
그래서 혼란스러워 한다.
분명히 이성적이고 합리적이어서 나의 기준이 옳아야 하는데,
상대방의 배경, 상황을 보니 그들의 기준도
이성적이고 합리적이다라는 것을 알게 된다.
윤리에 대한 절대적 기준이 없음을 알게 된다.

그래서 난 상황을 판단하고 결정을 내리게 될 때
꼭 이성적이어야 할 필요 없음을 배워간다.
감성도 합리성을 완성 시킬 수 있다라는 것도 경험한다.
이성과 직관과 감성이 나의 윤리 행동에 영향을 미치지 때문에
난 요즘 이 세 요소를 잘 밸런스 맞추려고 노력한다.

그렇다. 윤리적 의사 결정과 윤리적 행동에는
이성과 감성의 조합이 잘 어우러져야 한다.
그 조합이 깨질 때 올바른 결정을 못 내린다라는 것을 깨닫는다.
얼마 전에 밸런스를 놓쳐버린 경험을 했다.
일반적으로 비윤리적으로 여겨지는 행동을
하고 싶은 마음이 내 안에 너무 커져갔다.

나의 윤리 기준 영역 안에서 감성이 이성의 영역을 침해하여
판단을 흐리게 하는 것 같았다.
난 이성적으로 판단하기 보다,
커져가는 잘못된 감성을 뒷받침해 줄 수 있는
이성을 만들어 내고 있었다.
그러더니 어느 새 나의 윤리 기준이 변경 되어 있음을 알게 됐다.
그래서 많은 사람들에게 상담을 했는데
역시 도움이 안 되는 결론만 도달했다.
나의 새로운 기준이 누구에게는 괜찮았고,
누구에게는 아니 되는 것이었고,
누구에게는 당연한 것이었다.

혼란이 더욱 커져서 난 마지막으로 성경을 참고했다.
성서라는 것은 그나마 많은 사람들이 따르는
보편적인 윤리의 메시지를 담고 있기 때문이다.
기대한 바와 같이 성서에 비춘 나의 새로운 기준은 좋은 것이 아니었다.
그래서 약간의 고통과 함께 윤리 기준을 원위치 시켰다.

윤리 기준이라는 것은 상대적이기 때문에
열려 있는 마음으로 상대방을 받아드릴 줄 알아야 함을 안다.
그러나 그 배려하는 자세의 기본에는
내가 믿고 따르는 절대적인 기준은 꼭 필요함을 또한 깨닫게 된다.

Jueves

2008-11-20T04:45:00.005+09:00

Si fuera más guapa y un poco más lista
Si fuera especial, si fuera de revista
Tendría el valor de cruzar el vagón
Y preguntarte quién eres.
Te sientas en frente y ni te imaginas
Que llevo por ti mi falda más bonita.
Y al verte lanzar un bostezo al cristal
Se inundan mis pupilas.

De pronto me miras, te miro y suspiras
Yo cierro los ojos, tú apartas la vista
Apenas respiro me hago pequeñita
Y me pongo a temblar
Y así pasan los días, de lunes a viernes
Como las golondrinas del poema de Bécquer
De estación a estación enfrente tú y yo
Va y viene el silencio.

Y entonces ocurre, despiertan mis labios
Pronuncian tu nombre tartamudeando.
Supongo que piensas que chica más tonta
Y me quiero morir.

Pero el tiempo se para y te acercas diciendo
Yo no te conozco y ya te echaba de menos.
Cada mañana rechazo el directo
Y elijo este tren.
Y ya estamos llegando, mi vida ha cambiado
Un día especial este once de marzo.
Me tomas la mano, llegamos a un túnel
Que apaga la luz.
Te encuentro la cara, gracias a mis manos.
Me vuelvo valiente y te beso en los labios.
Dices que me quieres y yo te regalo
El último soplo de mi corazón.

Introspection Vs. Retrospection

2008-11-13T15:50:00.006+09:00

If you introspect yourself,
there are so many things going on in your mind
that you think it is too complex for you.

But when you retrospect,
you realize life is just simple, fast and clear.

We already know the answer we will face
when we retrospect ourselves in the future.
Ironically, our decisions are based on
today's agitated and blurry introspections.

The point here is to make the right balance
between how wisely we introspect
and how long sightedly we retrospect.
Not easy...
As the Word says, on that day we will see it clearly.

Implications of 2008 presidential elections

2008-11-10T00:00:00.006+09:00

What makes a nation great? What makes an organization great?

Forty years ago, we heard Martin Luther King deliver his speech
claiming liberty and equality, the very rights given to all of humankind
since the moment of birth.
This is something that Christians know as the facto truth.
However, it seems that we interpret God's intentions
in the mostly convenient way for us.

And in this way, forty years have past.
The world still ignorant of the real truth,
just not caring of the very essence of life and justice.
Of course there have been changes,
paradigms that amelliorated the world we live in,
but still there is a long road to go.

Forty years later, a person hardly thought to be
the most powerful person in the world was elected president.
November 4th was the day that confirmed us that
there is still hope and that we are doing well in fighting
the most nobel war in the history: a war for human dignity.

Shared dreams have impacts. Shared dreams always come true.
Shared dreams are those we should never give up.

< 넌 할 수 있어 >

2008-11-06T02:00:00.004+09:00

1998년 처음 한국에 왔을 때 배운 노래였다.
고등학교 졸업하자마자 혼자서 한국에 온
나에게 이 노래 가사는 나의 마음을 울렸다.
기숙사 방에서 내내 듣곤 하던 기억이 생생하다.

그 당시 낯선 곳에서 3끼 다 밥을 먹어야 했던 것이 고통스러웠고,
가족, 친구들이 너무 보고싶어 힘들어 하곤 했었다.
혼자 대학생활을 잘 할 수 있을지도 의문스러웠고,
대한민국에서 손꼽히는 똑똑한 아이들이 오는 대학에서
경쟁력 있게 공부할 수 있을까 두려웠다.
그런 외로움과 두려움을 느낄 때마다 이 노래를 부르곤 했다.
넌 할 수 있어. 굴하지 않는 보석같은 마음 있으니...

굴하지 않겠다라는 의지가 오늘날 나를 만들었다.
공부도 잘 마치고, 새 친구들과 좋은 관계 맺고,
좋은 직장에서 좋은 성과를 거두었다.

의지, 마음, 감정이 가진 힘은 정말 대단하다라는 것을 알면서도
약한 의지, 두려운 마음을 가지게 되는 이유는 무엇일까?
결국 지나고 뒤돌아 보면 아무것도 아니 될 것인데,
벌거벗은 나 자신을 보면 아무것도 두려워 하지 않아야 할테데 말이다.

다시 한 번 다짐하자. 굴하지 않겠다고.
다시 한 번 약속하자. 최선을 다하자고,
다시 한 번 기억하자. 나한텐 잃어버릴 것이 없다고.
다시 한 번 웃자. 내게 다가올 멋진 내일을 향하여,
내게 펼쳐진 무대를 향하여.

Owl & Parrot Vs. Owl Parrot

2008-11-06T01:23:00.005+09:00

October 1st was the date I acquired a small English academy together with a friend. The name is Owl and Parrot. The academy's former director had named it and we did not change because changing its name would bring impacts on our sales.

Plus, I think the name is quite funny. To be wise and ovservant like an owl, and to continously try and express like a parrot. This is the aim I am pursuing; I want my kids to be observant, wise, with chanlleging spirits.

Today I discovered that there is a bird called Owl parrot.

As shown in the picture, it's not pretty at all. I wonder if it is a product of crossbreeding.

Back to the business topic, we began very excitedly,

however we hadn't expected that running a business was this difficult.

There are so many things we have to take care of. From managing personnel to satisfying customers. The hardest part is dealing with discomforted mothers.

I definitely need to be more obeservant about my customers' needs and desires, be wiser when communicating with them and continously try even when I face failure after failure.

Perhaps, the name Owl & Parrot was there not for my kids.

It was already there just for me.

To remind me of what is important.

To tell what I should focus on.

Photography

2008-03-02T14:45:00.003+09:00

Uno de los hobbies que siempre quise empezar y que por mi consistence vagancia no pudo ser llevada a cabo fue la fotografia.

Ahora que tengo fines de semanas relativamente mas libres y que viene la primavera a Seul, estoy pensando en retomar mi pequenyo deseo.

A comprar una nueva camara, o a hacer milagros con lo que queda de lo que habia sido una camara?

Sony P32 (3 Megapixels), el regalito que me hice al terminar la carrera.

Miren, miren! Que hace cosas bonitas!!!

Fotos sacadas en Cambodia, hace exactamente 2 anyos.

Rice cakes

2008-03-02T14:29:00.005+09:00

It became a habit to have rice cakes for breakfast.

They are tasty, healthy, and most importantly, convenient.

You want something sweet, you have those that have red bean pastes in it.

You want something salty, they are also available.

So, I switch every morning.

On Lunar New Year, I came to see how these rice cakes

were used to be made in the old times.

People say that this is the right way to make the most delicious rice pastes. Well, I would trade a bit of that delicious taste for some hygene...